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Depending on God and his arm, rather than the arm of the flesh

Dear Glo,

I hope all is well in Santa Rosa!  I sure am constantly happy with how great you are doing and how wonderful your mission is.  I know it is hard.  I know you have to work all the time and talk all the time and be on all the time but that picture of you guys with Graciela at the temple; her with her sunglasses on and her cool shawl or coat or whatever she is wearing and her solemn face; and knowing she is a member and has gone to the temple is so beautiful to me.  She looks like a Mexican queen and in a way going to the temple she could be because that is what God has prepared for us.

I wanted to tell you a thought I had.   I am staying in a best western while I am in Pennsylvania and I don't know if it is the bed, or the pillows, or not being with Mommy or what but I sleep very poorly here.  I wake up all night and can't get back to sleep.  Thankfully I can sleep in till whenever I want because I am just covering call and so I usually get enough sleep, but it is frustrating waking up.  But I think and I pray and I often try to get to sleep by thinking of the Detroit temple and the rooms and how peaceful it is there.

I have to tell you, I have had some hard feelings with all that I have gone through mostly about how my ward and the leaders and my ministering brothers have not really helped or been concerned about us.  I have gotten far more calls from President Price, President Rupper and President Hark, than I have gotten from my ministering brothers or my bishop or anyone in the stake. It has made me feel bad that either they don't care, or or not worried enough about us to call or visit or just ask at church.  Anyway, another big concern I have had is money.  We stopped getting paid in September and have had no income since then.  I thought about calling the bishop for help this past month, just because I did not want to keep going onto my credit card for our rent and other expenses, but I felt bad no-one ever asked about us or how we were doing so I did not ask for help.  Then I got this job kind of miraculously at Geisinger not for just a weekend as was the plan, but for almost 11 days - 24 hours a day getting paid a lot per hour.  Because of this, I will make far more money in the two weeks I have been in Pennsylvania working part time, than I would have earned in a month in Michigan working full time.  That is what led me to the thought I want to share.  Even though I read it all the time in the scriptures, I have a hard time not trusting in the arm of the flesh.  I put my hope and confidence in men - people around me to help me and Mommy and our family.  I hope my ministering brothers will care about us, they don't.  I hope my bishop will check in with me and see if we are still ok financially, he doesn't and neither does my elders quorum president.  And we were not good financially and we have had a really hard time.  But then, I think of how often we have been in the temple, how often we have been in the Lord's house, with his spirit and all the temple workers, kind of like associating with God and his angels and I realize, where people have let me down, Heavenly Father has not.  When I thought my leaders at church should love and worry about me comfort me, I was missing the fact that God himself was loving and caring for me through the temple.

And money, we just ran out a month and a half ago.  I thought I could use some help financially, but I did not ask because I didn't want to ask people that don't seem to care much about me and us, for financial help.  Maybe that was still a bad idea and prideful, but I did not ask.  While working this job in PA and with the money coming from my new job starting tomorrow, most of our money concerns will be wiped out.

As I thought about this I realized, where the church people may not have been worried about us, Heavenly Father was and is and not only is he worried, he took care of it for us.  He gave me a job in PA and a job in Michigan.  He gave me more work by double than I thought I had in PA and it has helped us financially, immensely.  He also gave that work to me to when I couldn't work for my Dearborn job and it has been even more money than if I had been at the Dearborn job.  So maybe, I didn't ask for help with our rent last month, or your mission, or our bills, but Heavenly Father came in and took care of it and us and has shown me who has power and in whom I should trust.

That is why we should trust in the arm of the Lord, not in the arm of the flesh.  Even church people may let us down, but God will not.  He will go before us, he will be on our right hand and on our left and his angels will be round about.

I hope these thoughts are understandable and that you can feel them.

I love you and I love our family and I sure love Mommy.

She has been there with and for me this whole time, I think she is one of the angels too!

Con Amor,

Papá

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