Phone calls from Heaven

Dear Glo,

I wanted to write to let you know the blessing from Heavenly Father this week that have given me and Mommy comfort and strengthened our faith.  I have to say, I want to title it “Phone calls from Heaven” and you will see why below.  

Every day is pretty difficult, waiting and not knowing how this is all going to turn out.  Some days I feel ok and others I have a lot of fear and despair.  The other day, I was feeling pretty down and I went running.  I always feel a little better running but it doesn’t really change what is happening or what I have to deal with.  It helps my attitude though, but there is still a lot of concern that I can feel that does not get better with running.   So, anyway, I was having a hard day and I got a call from Mark.  He has been picking his fingernail and one of them has gotten infected.  It is all red and swollen so he was asking me about it.  We got to talking about our situation and I just told him it is hard, because I have felt like we would be ok and I have been blessed that, but I do not know how this can all be resolved and us come out ok afterwards.  

He reminded me of when he was engaged to Nikki.  He said a few days before it all ended, she said she needed time to think and so while she was thinking he went to the temple.  In the temple he said he got the spiritual impression that everything would be ok.  Then a few days later she broke it off.  He said it was very hard for him because he had felt the Lord’s reassurance that everything would turn out ok and with his engagement to Nikki, it did not. However, thinking about how he met Allison, how he gently introduced her to the gospel with the help of the family, how she found her own testimony and how she has been such a great new member of the church, how they waited a whole year to get married in the temple even though it was hard for her and her family but they did it and how literally in my mind, by not marrying Nikki, Mark was able to bring Allison to the Lord and save her from the world.  Their story is literally a miracle and a beautiful blessing to Allison and to Mark. He is so happy with Allison and they love each other dearly and they are a match made in heaven.  

Then he reminded me about how he was going to be a music major and eventually a professional musician.   That was what he thought he should do and he felt good about it.  He did everything he could to be what he thought he should be, and before his mission he seemed on the right track.  I remember when we went to his freshman concert.  In the studio of 3 freshmen, he was by far the best.  I remember it was so beautiful.  I remember Adam Unsworth told him based on his performance he would not have to reaudition when he came home and it seemed like he was on his way to realizing his dream.  He went on his mission and he came home.  I thought that he would be blessed beyond measure in his music career for going on a mission, but that is not what happened.  He came home and never came back musically from being gone two years.  He did everything he could, he practiced and his mouth hurt and yet it just did not get better.  Then he had surgery and it still was not enough to change the course of his music career.  He tried medical school prep classes and that did not go well either.  Then he found the path to an MBA.  He pursued it, was accepted to two schools and now he is well on his way to a successful career.  He has much better job options in his current degree program than he ever had as a musician and financially he will be much better off than he would have ever had as a musician.  

The point I am trying to make is that just like in Isaiah 55:8-9 ; “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord.  For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.”  And it goes on to say in verses 9-13; “for as the rain cometh down, and the snow from heaven, and returneth not hither, but watereth the earth, and maketh it bring forth and bud, that it may give seed to the sower, and bread to the eater: So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it.  For ye shall go out with joy, and be led forth with peace: the mountains and the hills shall break forth before you into singing, and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands.  Instead of the thorn shall come up the fir tree, and instead of the brier shall come up the myrtle tree: and it shall be to the Lord for a name, for an everlasting sign that shall not be cut off. “  Often, the way we think and see things is not the way the Lord thinks and sees things.   

I have to tell you Glo, while this situation I am in is and has been horrible, I have sought after God in a way that I have not done, possibly ever in my life.  I relish going to the temple 2-3 times per week.  I read my scriptures for a long time every day. I want to play a creepy video game and I reconsider because I do not want to push myself away from the Spirit.  I need God so much in my life right now. I wish it did not take such terrible circumstances that seem so hopeless, to drive me to seek after the Savior and the Atonement and Heavenly Father.   

Anyway, yesterday I was reading my Deutsche Schriften and I read auf Deutsch 3 Nephi 22.  I don’t always get the full impact of the scriptures when I read in German and I could tell I needed to understand it better so I read it in English.  This is what I read:  verses

 7 For a small moment have I forsaken thee, but with great mercies will I gather thee.

8 In a little wrath I hid my face from thee for a moment, but with everlasting kindness will I have mercy on thee, saith the Lord thy Redeemer.

9 For this, the waters of Noah unto me, for as I have sworn that the waters of Noah should no more go over the earth, so have I sworn that I would not be wroth with thee.

10 For the mountains shall depart and the hills be removed, but my kindness shall not depart from thee, neither shall the covenant of my peace be removed, saith the Lord that hath mercy on thee.

11 O thou afflicted, tossed with tempest, and not comforted! Behold, I will lay thy stones with fair colors, and lay thy foundations with sapphires.

12 And I will make thy windows of agates, and thy gates of carbuncles, and all thy borders of pleasant stones.

13 And all thy children shall be taught of the Lord; and great shall be the peace of thy children.

14 In righteousness shalt thou be established; thou shalt be far from oppression for thou shalt not fear, and from terror for it shall not come near thee.

15 Behold, they shall surely gather together against thee, not by me; whosoever shall gather together against thee shall fall for thy sake.

16 Behold, I have created the smith that bloweth the coals in the fire, and that bringeth forth an instrument for his work; and I have created the waster to destroy.

17 No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue that shall revile against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and their righteousness is of me, saith the Lord.

As a young missionary, with all the world ahead of you, this probably does not do much for you or mean much to you, but as a 52 year old doctor with a whole hospital administration and a mean lawyer attacking me and trying to destroy me, these scriptures take on a whole new meaning.  “for a small moment have I forsaken thee, but with great mercies will I gather thee…in a little wrath I hid my face from thee for a moment but with great mercies will I gather thee…in righteousness shalt thou be established; thou shalt be far from oppression for thou shalt not fear, and from terror for it shall not come near thee…”  I could go on and on and I have never felt anything when I read that scripture.  

Then, while I was reading this Sis Dyerly called from church.  She had a question about health issues and I answered them.  Then she said basically that while she did not know what exactly the situation was that we were in, she and her husband Dave were praying for us. She said that she had faith that we would be “taken care of” and she knew that “all would be well”.   It was like another phone call from Heaven. When I had my blessing at the start of all of this by Brother Groen in the temple, he said: “you will know what to say to take care of this” and 3 months later sweet Sister Dyerly is saying she has faith that we would be “taken care of”.  It was like God in Heaven was telling Mommy and I that “all would be well” and as before we would be “taken care of”.  

I do not know what any of this means.  I do not know why this is happening to me as I trust in God that He is over all and has all power and I know he could have prevented this from happening.  I do not know what it means that “you will know what to say to take care of this”, you will be “taken care of” and “all will be well”.  God’s thoughts are not our thoughts and just as the heavens are higher than the earth, God’s thoughts are higher than mine and Mommy’s.  I don’t know how this will all settle out in the end but I have to have faith that it will be better for us than we can plan or imagine for ourselves.  

I love you Glo.  I tell you these things so that you can hear how we are doing and hopefully so you can feel some of the good spiritual growth that is happening here at home even in the midst of our troubles.  

Have a great week and I hope this is meaningful to you.  Sorry it is so long.

Con amor,

Daddy