Why I Love Michigan

I love Michigan.  Twenty years ago, I didn't have the same feelings, but with some maturity and some hindsight, I can't imagine a better place to live.  People ask why I love it so much, and they wonder why I don't like Pennsylvania.  This summer, I figured it out.

I have friends here, and I feel like I can be myself in Michigan.

For the past seven years (it kills me to think that I have lived in PA that long), I have struggled to make friends in Pennsylvania.  I'm not talking about acquaintances, or people that I see on occasion--I have plenty of those.  I'm talking about lifelong, share-every-moment-of-my-life kind of friend.  Since I don't have siblings, or any close family members, I feel a desperate need for friends.  I have tried to reach out to my in-laws, but there's a funny relationship between the members of the Kennedy family that I can't seem to comprehend.

I have invited more women to lunch than I care to admit.  Sometimes I pay, sometimes we go dutch.  I have invited women to come on trips with me (even to Interlochen), but so far I haven't had any takers. I have volunteered in my kids' schools, hoping to make a friend, and I have even gotten a JOB, hoping to make some friends.  While people like me when I'm volunteering, or working, the friendship hasn't extended beyond the workplace.  I have tried to have families over to our home, cooking for them and throwing birthday parties for them--people come, but there isn't much reciprocation back.  Really, the only invites I get from anyone are to attend a Pampered Chef party (where I feel the need to spend money on things that I never use), or to go to lunch with a visiting teacher (and I know that I'm a statistic).  There are days when I sit at home, alone, and try to tell myself that I'm okay being alone--I like silence, and I always have plenty to do.  Very much a "who needs friends?" kind of mentality.

Too, in Pennsylvania, people treat me like a pariah.  They seem to think that I think that I am above them, because my children are talented and because I don't hunt...or fish...or own a gun.  Yes, we have a drop-dead gorgeous house, and yes, we have a lot of money, but that doesn't mean that John and I don't like to watch every episode of Gold Rush on Discovery, or don't enjoy riding the tractor.

John and I are constantly criticized in Pennsylvania, he as a physician, and me as a person.  I'm tired of us worrying about when and where the next criticism will come.  We live on pins and needles, knowing that nobody has our back.  It's a miserable way to live.  John describes himself as feeling "dead inside" from all the criticism he has had to face in his job.

It's different here in Michigan.  People like to be around me.  They invite me to lunch, and they want to do things with me in the evenings.  They tell me that I spread sunshine, and they like it when I call them up, or go for walks with them.    They appreciate the talents that my kids have, and surprise, surprise, my children aren't much different from any of the other kids here.  Talented kids are a dime a dozen here, and my kids are no different.  Yes, my husband is a doctor, but here people like that about him.  In fact, nurses and staff are happy when he's around.  Go figure!

Too, I like water.  I like that when we don't have anything to do, we can go to the lake and swim.  John and I are always at a loss for things to do in Pennsylvania.

I fit in here.  Instead of trying to hide who I am, and worrying about saying the wrong thing every moment, I can just be myself.  And it's okay.

It's become a running joke in our family, me telling John that we can move here anytime he wants.  He's so unhappy in his life right now, and I'm just waiting for the unhappiness to escalate to a point where he says, "Fine.  Let's go."  However, he has such painful memories from his childhood (and growing up in Michigan), I'm not sure that we will end up here anyway.  For me, I would be so happy to feel "at home" again.  To feel that I am in a place where people like me and to feel safe.

And for that reason, I love Michigan.  However, I recognize that I will just have to love it from afar.

I have prayed that someone would find us a job in Michigan, or that a job would fall in our laps (because John won't earnestly look).  I have prayed that housing prices would go up, and that we would know that we could easily sell our house.  I have prayed that it would be in God's plan for us to find a place like Germany again where we could be happy as a family.  I have given up praying that we will ever be able to move.  It seems to be our lot that we stay where we are in PA.

Forgive my whining.  I know someone in PA will read this and will think less of me for it, or will try and convince me that PA is great, or who will take me out to lunch because they don't want me to feel friendless.  It's okay.  Like I said earlier, I'm okay with being alone.  I've come to enjoy pity parties.

If only I could have them in Michigan....

:-)