No, this post isn't about me living the single life as a 40+ female :-)
During his senior year of high school, Ethan spent a great deal of time deciding where he was going to college. He drove all over for college visits and spent hours on his knees in prayer. He finally picked American University in Washington DC. It has a top-notch International Relations program, and he hoped to be able to get some work in the DC area which would lead to good job connections.
As his mission ended, something inside of me thought that he wasn't going to return to American. It was no surprise when he came home and told me that he was considering BYU. That's Brigham Young University. You know, the Mormon school in Provo?
I can't stand BYU, although I try not to transmit that feeling to my kids. They know that I hate the school, but they also know that if they choose to go there, I'm okay with it. As I tell Ethan, I just vomit in my mouth a little when I think about it ;-) Why, you may ask? Why don't I love the school that every Mormon kid I know attends? I love the gospel, but I don't always love the culture of the church. Actually, I can't stand much of the culture, and Provo is just dripping with it.
Ethan wanted to go initially because he wanted to be financially independent from John and me. A good goal, you must admit. Certainly, living in Provo, Utah is significantly cheaper than living in Washington DC.
John, however, encouraged Ethan to attend American for at least a year, just to make sure that he knew this was the right decision. I told him to submit his application to BYU so that the option was there in January if he wanted it.
Too, Ethan began praying again, and while attending the temple his first or second week in DC, he had an overwhelming feeling that it was the right thing to do. Not because of finances, however.
This decision makes absolutely no sense. He's leaving a great school for his future career, he has two jobs that pay upwards of $20/hour. He was called as a temple worker in the DC temple, and he holds two callings. He loves the city, and we love having him close enough that he can drive home whenever he wants (which isn't very often unfortunately).
I finally figured that it was time for me to let go, and be supportive of Ethan's decision. While I'm not at all happy about it, I understand that he has to do what he has to do.
After coming to this conclusion, I was listening to General Conference the first weekend in October, and I heard Elder Henry B. Eyring relate the following story:
In the early years of my career, I worked hard to secure a tenured professorship at Stanford University. I thought I had made a good life for myself and for my family. We lived close to my wife’s parents in very comfortable surroundings. By the world’s standards, I had achieved success. But I was given by the Church the chance to leave California and go to Ricks College in Rexburg, Idaho. My lifetime professional objectives might have been a pavilion dividing me from a loving Father who knew better than I did what my future could hold. But I was blessed to know that whatever success I had in my career and family life to that point was a gift from God. And so, like a child, I knelt in prayer to ask what I should do. I was able to hear a quiet voice in my mind that said, “It’s my school.” There was no pavilion shielding me from God. In faith and humility, I submitted my will to His and felt His care and closeness.
During his senior year of high school, Ethan spent a great deal of time deciding where he was going to college. He drove all over for college visits and spent hours on his knees in prayer. He finally picked American University in Washington DC. It has a top-notch International Relations program, and he hoped to be able to get some work in the DC area which would lead to good job connections.
As his mission ended, something inside of me thought that he wasn't going to return to American. It was no surprise when he came home and told me that he was considering BYU. That's Brigham Young University. You know, the Mormon school in Provo?
I can't stand BYU, although I try not to transmit that feeling to my kids. They know that I hate the school, but they also know that if they choose to go there, I'm okay with it. As I tell Ethan, I just vomit in my mouth a little when I think about it ;-) Why, you may ask? Why don't I love the school that every Mormon kid I know attends? I love the gospel, but I don't always love the culture of the church. Actually, I can't stand much of the culture, and Provo is just dripping with it.
Ethan wanted to go initially because he wanted to be financially independent from John and me. A good goal, you must admit. Certainly, living in Provo, Utah is significantly cheaper than living in Washington DC.
John, however, encouraged Ethan to attend American for at least a year, just to make sure that he knew this was the right decision. I told him to submit his application to BYU so that the option was there in January if he wanted it.
Too, Ethan began praying again, and while attending the temple his first or second week in DC, he had an overwhelming feeling that it was the right thing to do. Not because of finances, however.
This decision makes absolutely no sense. He's leaving a great school for his future career, he has two jobs that pay upwards of $20/hour. He was called as a temple worker in the DC temple, and he holds two callings. He loves the city, and we love having him close enough that he can drive home whenever he wants (which isn't very often unfortunately).
I finally figured that it was time for me to let go, and be supportive of Ethan's decision. While I'm not at all happy about it, I understand that he has to do what he has to do.
After coming to this conclusion, I was listening to General Conference the first weekend in October, and I heard Elder Henry B. Eyring relate the following story:
In the early years of my career, I worked hard to secure a tenured professorship at Stanford University. I thought I had made a good life for myself and for my family. We lived close to my wife’s parents in very comfortable surroundings. By the world’s standards, I had achieved success. But I was given by the Church the chance to leave California and go to Ricks College in Rexburg, Idaho. My lifetime professional objectives might have been a pavilion dividing me from a loving Father who knew better than I did what my future could hold. But I was blessed to know that whatever success I had in my career and family life to that point was a gift from God. And so, like a child, I knelt in prayer to ask what I should do. I was able to hear a quiet voice in my mind that said, “It’s my school.” There was no pavilion shielding me from God. In faith and humility, I submitted my will to His and felt His care and closeness.
My years at Ricks College, during which I tried to seek God’s will and do it, kept the pavilion from covering me or obscuring God’s active role in my life. As I sought to do His work, I felt close to Him and felt assurance that He knew of my affairs and cared deeply for my happiness. But as they had at Stanford, worldly motivations began to present themselves to me. One was an attractive job offer, extended just as I was finishing my fifth year as president of Ricks College. I considered the offer and prayed about it and even discussed it with the First Presidency. They responded with warmth and a little humor but certainly not with any direction. President Spencer W. Kimball listened to me describe the offer I had received from a large corporation and said: “Well, Hal, that sounds like a wonderful opportunity! And if we ever needed you, we’d know where to find you.” They would have known where to find me, but my desires for professional success might have created a pavilion that would make it hard for me to find God and harder for me to listen to and follow His invitations.
My wife, sensing this, had a strong impression that we were not to leave Ricks College. I said, “That’s good enough for me.” But she insisted, wisely, that I must get my own revelation. And so I prayed again. This time I did receive direction, in the form of a voice in my mind that said, “I’ll let you stay at Ricks College a little longer.” My personal ambitions might have clouded my view of reality and made it hard for me to receive revelation.
Thirty days after I was blessed with the inspired decision to turn down the job offer and stay at Ricks College, the Teton Dam burst nearby. God knew that dam would burst and that hundreds of people would need help. He let me seek counsel and gain His permission to stay at Ricks College. He knew all the reasons that my service might still be valuable at the college and in Rexburg. So I was there to ask Heavenly Father frequently in prayer that He would have me do those things that would help the people whose property and lives had been damaged. I spent hours working with other people to clear mud and water from homes. My desire to know and do His will gave me a soul-stretching opportunity.
That incident illustrates another way we can create a barrier to knowing God’s will or feeling His love for us: we can’t insist on our timetable when the Lord has His own. I thought I had spent enough time in my service in Rexburg and was in a hurry to move on. Sometimes our insistence on acting according to our own timetable can obscure His will for us.
I was dumbfounded when I heard this story. Leaving Stanford, one of the best universities in the nation, to work at Ricks College, a two-year institution that had no academic credibility? I could hardly believe it. However, I was reminded that the Lord knows what is best in our lives. The question is, do we have the faith to follow his direction when we don't know where it will lead us?
Obviously Ethan has the faith. He's leaving what seems like a wonderful life to pursue a different course because the Lord wants him to. While I won't be visiting him for any football games, and the collegiate sticker will not be affixed to my back windshield, I support him 100% in his decision.
Oops, gotta go. I just vomited in my mouth again...
Well, we are excited to have Ethan out here!
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