It's a New Day

How thankful I am that I can go to sleep and wake up the next morning to a new day.

Yesterday was a nightmare.  Seriously, it's been a long time since I've had that bad of a day, and it was the biggest relief to know that today would not be the same.

I spent the entire day yesterday crying.  My eyes were completely swollen by the end of the night.  The only release I had from the trauma which I had experienced was watching TV--it was the only time I could stop thinking about how scared I had been.  I went to bed, and for the first time since my surgery, I fell asleep.  For a solid six hours even.

I was scared to wake up this morning.  I was scared to relive my fear from the day before.  I was worried that my sinuses would be causing me pain.  I was worried that I would spend another day crying.

So, I decided to do what I should have been doing for the past six days.

I took it easy.  Yes, I still got up with the girls and got them out the door.  I got Hannah off to her Regional Orchestra festival, packed and practiced.  I'm still taking care of the dogs.  Yes, I ran to the post office and did some grocery shopping, but for the most part, I just cut myself a break.

And glory be, I feel much better.  In fact, I can tell that the procedure yesterday is paying off today.  For the first time in years, I can breathe through my nose.  I'm not trying to be strong and refusing to take my pain meds, but I'm taking them on a regular schedule, whether I feel I need them or not.  I'm eating nice, light, tasty food, and I'm resting on the sofa next to the open back door.  The spring breezes are floating in, and life feels good again.

There was icing on the cake for me today too.  The doorbell rang, and I wasn't even going to answer it, because I assumed it was our friendly UPS guy who is great about leaving our packages for us on the porch.  But I was up, and headed out to at least say "hi" to him.

Much to my surprise, there was the most beautiful bouquet of flowers.  Actually, these are so much more than flowers.  Live plants (yes, planted in dirt), and bulbs (which can be replanted) and stalks of pussy willows.

I opened the card, having no idea who could have possibly sent me such a beautiful arrangement.

They were from my mom.

For most of you, this probably seems like a natural thought.  Flowers from my mom.  For me personally, however, this was huge (dang it, I haven't cried all day, and now I am again!).

The relationship between my mom and me is a work in progress.  There have certainly been times when I have wanted to give up on our relationship, and I'm sure that many times she has wondered what is the point, but to our credit, we keep pushing forward.  We keep working our way through problems, and sadnesses, and misunderstandings, and every once in a while, like today, I am reminded that it's all worth it.

I was feeling so lonely, and so without family support yesterday, and my mom came through for me.  She let me know that even though we live far away from each other, and that sometimes our lives are distant, she cares about me, she is thinking about me, and she's hoping that I feel better soon.  That's what I needed to know yesterday when I felt so alone, and now I know that I'm not alone.

I'm so thankful for new days.  They give us all hope, don't you think?