Speaking of Speaking

Two weeks ago I gave a talk in church (probably my first talk in like 2 years.) I actually never feel like I get asked to speak all that much in church, so this was actually a surprise, especially because Allison and I are leaving our current ward in like 2 weeks (ohmygosh and it's SO scary how close that is...) 

One thing that always irritates me in Church is when somebody is given a pretty unique and interesting topic, and then they give a totally uninspiring, uninteresting talk, or it's evident that they didn't give the talk much thought. And of course then I'm thinking to myself: "When I get a topic like that that has so many angles and ideas, I'm just going to BLOW it out of the water!" And yet somehow, whenever I first get a topic either for a lesson or a talk, I just originally feel totally uninspired. I don't know why, it just happens that way. Unfortunately, at least at first, the given topic for this talk was the same way. It focuses around the talk by Larry Y Wilson about the LDS Navy seaman who, when his Navy ship was caught in a typhoon, continued to ask and receive revelation until he was able to direct the boat out of the storm. 

Now granted, the story itself was really interesting during General Conference, and I recognized the talk immediately when I got the topic. The problem was, and I'm not sure if this is just because the story is super recognizable or because Church leaders think the principles are important to illustrate, but I feel like this story and the talk has been beaten like a dead horse. By the time I gave this talk, I had already had like three lessons on the talk itself, and I felt like all the points I had to illustrate about it had been exhausted. Not only that, but the topic assigned to me was something along the lines of "How Do I Follow and Receive Promptings of the Spirit". I know from my time as a missionary that this is ALWAYS a pertinent and ever-present question, and yet at the same time, isn't every talk really about that exact idea? 

With this trifecta of influences telling me there was no way to create an "interesting" or "thought-provoking", I wasn't really sure what to do. Determined though to not let an opportunity pass by, I started researching and thinking about how I could put my own spin on it.

And as always happens, the Lord takes your meager efforts and makes amazing things happen(: Over the course of the next two days, I came up with a completely different talk than I thought I wanted to make, but I couldn't have been happier with how it turned out. Funny enough, some of the inspiration and stories I shared came from Facebook videos one of my friends just posted online randomly, and others were things I remember from a long time ago. Below is the talk in full, so hopefully my points come through.

In some way I feel that every talk in sacrament meeting revolves at some point or other around the question of how to listen for and follow the promptings of the Spirit. While some are more indirect in their approach because the talk must be combined with another gospel principle, my talk today is not one of those. Instead my talk will be directly focused on this question by addressing the talk from this past General Conference by Larry Y Wilson, entitled “Take the Holy Spirit as Your Guide”. 

With such a straightforward title and question that I find myself asking quite frequently, I wasn’t exactly clear on where to direct my thoughts. When I usually start a talk, I like to begin with doctrine, followed by a personal story. However, I had trouble picking just one story from my own life or from the lives of others that I feel would illuminate my recent thoughts on this subject, so I’m actually going to begin with two stories, follow it with some doctrine and then end my talk with a personal one. It’s my hope that with the accounts of others and myself, together with scriptural evidence, will help you consider how the Spirit speaks to you, and how his influence can be seen more frequently in your own life. 

The first story comes from Jeffrey R. Holland. Briefly summarized, he says:

“There are times when the only way to get from A to C is by way of B”… “I wanted to introduce my son to places I had seen and enjoyed when I was young. So one day we left for an afternoon together out on a road called the Great Arizona Strip. Noting that the sun was going down, we decided we had better get back. But we came back to a particular fork in the road, really the only one that at that point was unrecognizable.

I asked my son to pray about which road we should take, and he felt strongly that we should go to the right. So we did, and within 400-500 yards it ended up in a dead end, clearly it was the wrong road. 

We came back around, turned around and took the left fork, which ended up being the right road. However as we were driving home on the right path now, my son asked me “Why did we feel so strongly that the right fork was the right way to go, when it clearly was not?”

Jeffrey R Hollard goes on to propose that the wish of the Lord in that instance was to give Elder Holland and his son the answer to their question as quickly as possible and with as much certainty as possible. If you’re as paranoid as I am driving someplace with which you’re not entirely familiar, driving a long distance with no guarantee you’re on the right road can be a nerve-wracking experience. By telling them to go down the wrong road, he wasn’t indicating that the right was necessarily correct. Rather God gave them the certainty that because the right path was clearly and quickly incorrect, that the left must be the answer. Therefore, the goal of the Lord as Elder Holland puts it was not just to give the right way, but to give Elder Holland and his son a full understanding and reassurance of which path was the correct one to follow. 

The second story I want to briefly relate comes from Elder Wilson’s talk from General Conference. As some of you may remember, he recounts the story of Ensign Frank Blair, who as a faithful Latter Day Saint and the unofficial chaplain aboard a US military vessel was called upon for help when his ship was caught in a massive typhoon. As the ship limped along with only two of three functioning engines, one of which was at only half power, and cracks appeared in the ships hull, Ensign Blair was asked to pray for the ship by the captain. However, rather than simply offering a prayer requesting the safety of the ship, he asked if there was anything he could do. What followed was a series of subtle suggestions by the Spirit that led him to survey the entirety of the ship, consult with the captain on the main issues of the moment, and offer suggestions, even ones that contrasted with the opinions of other ship officials. What is interesting to me to note is how he received one answer, followed through on it, and then returned to ask Heavenly Father for clarification. Upon receiving that second answer, he acted again in the best way he knew how, and then continued to consult the Lord as he continued to act on more inspiration. Due to the revelation he received and his willingness to act on them, the ship arrived in safe waters by the next morning.  

I think there is a lot that connects these two stories together. Elements of prayer, allowing blind faith to lead, listening to promptings and being willing to act are definitely at the core of both. The nature of the answers received though is perhaps what strikes me the most about both accounts. For Elder Holland and his son, the path to the right was in fact the wrong path to reach their final destination. The answer to their prayer didn’t result in the exact answer they had expected, and the road didn’t wait long before telling them that they were in the wrong. On the other side though it gave them not just the correct road to take, but also the reassurance and complete understanding of the right path they should take. Rather than providing an answer that would have to be taken on faith, it was proven to them through experience. 

For Ensign Blair the answers of the Spirit were similar. Rather than tell him exactly what he could do to help the ship, the Spirit told Ensign Blair how to find outhow he could help. Once he knew that, Ensign Blair then had to continue to seek for clarification and knowledge until he came to a more complete understanding with which he could make an educated and inspired decision. I think it is important to note how the Spirit never directly told him how to fix his problem, but prompted him on how to find solutions to the problems he faced. 

2 Nephi 28: 30-31 reads:

30. For behold, thus saith the Lord God: I will give unto the children of men line upon line, precept upon precept, here a little and there a little, and blessed are those who hearken unto my precepts, and lend an ear unto my counsel, for they shall learn wisdom; for unto him that receiveth I will give more; and from them that shall say, We have enough, from them shall be taken away even that which they have.

31. Cursed is he that putteth his trust in man, or maketh flesh his arm, or shall hearken unto the precepts of men, save their precepts shall be given by the power of the Holy Ghost.”

I know that God answers all of our prayers. The more we come to understand God, his nature and his concern for us, the more I feel like we can understand that each request and question we ask is carefully considered. I know as wellthough that although sometimes answers come to us as clear and unmistakable directions, occasionally we will get a no, and more than anything we will often receive a myriad of answers in between. 

For me personally the difference between a yes and a no can be a rather scary experience. Much like a vast chasm that separates the plateaus of safe, easily received answers, learning to approach the unknown without a clear answer can be daunting. At times a decisive answer, either in the negative or in the positive, would be preferable just because it would require less effort, and it would be clear and unmistakable. Imagine how easy it would be to essentially call the Lord when you hit a major life decision, whether it’s about work, or schooling or family matters or doctrinal questions, and he would answer you every time exactly how you asked. Like in the way some of us might use Google or another search engine to look up fast information, the only effort exerted comes in the way we phrase the question, and we receive an immediate result. 

Speaking to the youth, Elder James E Faust wrote about this topic concerning learning to listen to the voice of the Spirit in these words:

                  “In your generation you will be barraged by a multitude of voices telling you how to live, how to gratify your passions, how to have it all. There will be all sorts of software, satellite receivers and communication devices that will suffocate you with information. You will be bombarded with evil and wickedness like no other generation before. As I contemplate this prospect I am reminded of T.S. Elliotts words: Where is the wisdom we have lost in knowledge? Where is the knowledge we have lost in information?
Elder Faust goes on to say: “I suggest a simple solution. Listen to and follow the promptings of the Holy Spirit. This solution requires patience in a world that demands instant gratification. Learn to ponder the things of the Spirit and respond to it’s promptings. “

For me at least, the experiences of receiving revelation from the Spirit are much less like a Google Search and much more like the experiences of Elder Holland and Ensign Blair. In a way I feel like the Spirit speaks to me much more gradually like for Ensign Blair, after I continue to ask for clarification, or that the Holy Ghost gives me answers I did not anticipate, but that turn out better than I had hoped, like for Elder Holland. 

Originally when I considered coming to Michigan I received a strong impression that this was the school I should go to. At the time, that seemed like a clear answer that this music school would be the one to propel me into my musical career. I had a good scholarship offer, I had a large university that would give me a lot of opportunities, and I was in a great horn program. I felt really confident that that was the answer God was giving me.

My first year with horn was a pretty strong indicator that my impression was right, in all the ways I had expected. It feels weird to say it cause it sounds REALLY arrogant and maybe a little too much like the typical egotistical musician, but I was the best player by far in my incoming class. I definitely had my own issues playing, but overall I just felt confident and strong and capable. 

As irony would have it though, my mission changed everything, but actually for the worse. I came back, expecting that serving a hard mission and working hard through it would mean I'd be granted special blessings to recover quickly from two years of no playing. That's how it works right? Actually not always. As fate would have it, all of a sudden playing horn became a huge problem. I had to re-audition for my place in the studio off my mission, my adjustment back into playing took the majority of my sophomore year, my embouchure was incorrectly placed, I had to have surgery to remove an errant tooth laying dormant in my gums (not a wisdom tooth actually) three months before my junior recital, and my confidence was shot. It was a pretty bad time because I was left wondering why exactly I had been told to come to Michigan.

The funny thing was, I was so involved and worried with music that I totally forgot to notice things happening in other areas of my life, namely Russian. After serving my mission in Russia, I came back, enrolled in a Russian program and just started flying through courses. They were easy and honestly, fun. I was so worried about music that I'd spend all day worrying about it, and as an afterthought do my Russian homework or write these essays right before the deadline, and I'd do really well. 

Around the end of my junior year was when I started to realize that music just wasn't going to work out. So while I was asking myself "Why had God told me I should come to Michigan if music wasn't going to work out anyways?" I saw at the same time how so many OTHER things had worked out so much better. Yeah, I might've been told to come to Michigan because of the music scholarship and that it would enable me to study here, but that turned out to be just a functional purpose. As it turns out, I came here more for the Russian program that was conveniently waiting for me at the end of my mission, and to meet Allison through a local rowing program, and to give me more opportunities to figure out exactly what I want to do. What I forgot to mention is that as I realized music wasn't going to work, because Michigan has so many different programs, I tried out a bunch of different options. For a while I considered the CIA with my Russian degree (and it's definitely still an option), but then with nothing to lose, I got an answer that I should look to see if I could go to medical school. Why not right? Unfortunately Chem 130 beat me down (even though I'm still proud to say I got a B in the associated Chem Lab), and even though I took an Organic Chemistry course and did rather well in that as well, Physics and the workload I would need to have in my final year of school to go to medical school just showed me that was not the right plan. So then it was back to the CIA, but at the suggestion of a family friend, I decided why not then try for Business School? 

And I think in this moment (more actually like the current present moment actually, like for real) is where the beauty of this situation comes in. I got an answer that Michigan was the right place, but completely not for the reasons I originally thought. And I got inspiration that I should try for medical school and try out different career paths, only to find out that they weren't right. Once I started working towards Business School, however, and sending in applications and everything, the inspiration proved to be just that. My mission that had sabotaged my music career actually turned out to be the best talking point for my business applications. My bad experiences with individualistic music people proved to be a solid reason why business and the collaboration needed in that pursuit was attractive to me. And the jobs I had had to maintain while at school to help pay for my ridiculously pricey university gave me the work experience I needed to get into business school. It was just a long string of experiences that, like Jeffrey R Holland and his son being inspired to turn down the wrong road, helped me to find and be confident in the right road by going down and experiencing the wrong ones first. 

Looking back on it, it really would've been nice to know that getting the OK to go to Michigan was a lot more complicated of an answer than just that I was doing the right thing, and that's what I should do. At the same time though, feeling that way was what made everything else work. I guess even though I can testify that the answers in the chasm of uncertainty are almost always difficult to understand, and take time and effort to fully unwrap them, I also know that to undergo and fight through that process will result in doing exactly what the Lord wants for you. As long as we keep doing our best and continue to ask the Lord for clarification, He'll either let us know where we are or make things happen for us that indicate what we should do.

There's my talk family. Hope you liked it(: