Another Lesson Learned

Today was a big day for John and me: we signed the papers to sell our home in Pennsylvania.

The closing date isn't for another week, but we won't be in town then, so we signed the papers today.

Just three signatures needed.  Nothing more.

And it was done.

Three signatures for three years of hope, prayer, faith, doubt, worry, stress, anger, and relief.

When we first put our house on the market (receiving promptings by the Spirit to do so), several people told us that it wouldn't take more than a month to sell it.  In fact, we had people coming to look at it before it was actually listed because the realtors wanted to get a jump on it.

We were sure that Glo would be attending Hollidaysburg high school for her junior and senior years which we thought would be a blessing from a music perspective.  And we were sure that John would finish out his medical career in another ten or twenty years there.

We even looked at buying land in Hollidaysburg, hoping that our house would sell quickly so that we could get the piece of property we wanted.

We figured we could share the lesson that we had learned:  Listening to a prompting of the Spirit pays off in the end.  The Lord wouldn't leave us hanging.

By that fall, nothing had happened.

No big deal, we thought.  We'll take it off the market so that we don't have to worry about showing it through the holidays, and sell it in the spring.

More showings.  Lowering the price.

Another year went by.  And nothing.

The lesson:  Patience is a virtue.  The Lord doesn't always answer our prayers according to our timeline.  Keep the faith.

We figured that Heavenly Father wanted Glo to finish high school in State College.

And we figured that once John was released from the stake presidency, he would bless us for his efforts by letting us sell our house.

The lesson?  Everything happens in the Lord's time.  He sees all, and who are we to question how something happens?

We had people come up, telling us that they had received spiritual impressions that our house would sell the month John was released (it didn't).  Hannie told us that she had received an impression that it would sell while she was on her mission (it did).

So here we are, three years later, financially ruined, with the house sold.

What lesson have I learned?  Sometimes life just sucks.

Several weeks ago, I was sitting in a Gospel Doctrine lesson, and I heard these thoughts shared in a discussion:

• We all knew what we signed up for when we agreed to come to earth.  We knew it would be a time of trial, so don't be surprised when trials hit you straight in the face.
• Life should be full of challenges and trials because it's the only way we learn.  If your life is easy, count your blessings, but don't expect it to last long.
• Not all trials are time limited--some will never end.  However, Christ came to earth to suffer and die for us so that he can strengthen us through our trials. 

Throughout this very lengthy trial, I have wondered what lesson I am supposed to learn, and I have questioned if I was doing everything I need to be doing in order to receive the blessings I sought.  Do you know how many times I reminded the Lord that I was asking so that I could receive, seeking so that I could find, and knocking so that the door could be opened unto me?  I have never been so diligent about saying my prayers, expressing gratitude, reading my scriptures, attending the temple and reaching out to others.  Wasn't I deserving of the blessing I so desperately wanted?

I can't stand up and use this example of my house not selling to bear testimony of faith, or of prayers being answered, or of having patience.  It didn't teach me those things.

I can stand up and say that sometimes life hands you lemons, and you have to eat them (and for those who know me, I can't even drink lemonade because of the sourness).  There's no sweetness.  No salvation.  Life just is what it is.

But that being said, it's not all for naught.

I have come to the realization over the past month that everything that happens to us in life is just part of our own personal journeys.  Sometimes (and perhaps most of the time) we can find reason in what happens, and we can look back with hindsight and see the trial as a blessing.

However (and I think this may be one of two times in my life this has happened), there will be times when there is no understanding to any of it.  That as far removed as you may be, and with as much searching as you can do, you will find no sense to any of it.  Bad things happen to good people.

But it's okay.  Life goes on.  Don't let it get you down.  Persevere.  Be strong.

If nothing else, you will learn that you can do it.