Gah! The whole dressing up for the wedding thing is painful for me. Trying to find something beautiful, comfortable and memorable...but not TOO memorable (I'm looking at you, Prince Andrew's daughters at Kate Middleton's wedding...). Here are a few of the problems I face, and why I wish I could just wear clogs:1. Finding a modest formal dress (where I don't need to wear a half tee underneath) is near impossible. Seriously, search "mother-of-the-bride" dresses, or visit Nordstrom's "Wedding Day" section of apparel and you will see what I mean! I was so desperate that at one point I found a great dress at Boden that didn't have sleeves, so I bought a second identical dress in order to have a tailor create sleeves from the second dress to add to the first. I ended up returning both.
2. Finding a dress that flatters me is even MORE impossible. When cardigans and pencil skirts are my go-to for church, it's rather hard to think gowns. I can't do much but just layer on the Spanx and hope for the best.
3. I gain weight before weddings. So much for the 22 pounds I lost this summer. Between the stress of the upcoming wedding, being on a month of steroids, and unsuccessfully navigating the holidays, I gained ten pounds during the month of December. Yep, the dress that I bought back in September (and ordered a size down) wasn't looking so hot on my "baby belly" anymore.
4. Heels. What sadistic bastardo came up with heels? I have worn heels twice over the past twenty years: yep, you guessed it, Mark and Ethan's weddings. I hate them, and yet if I'm wearing a gown, I don't think wedges or boots work.
5. Jewelry. I am an accessorizing idiot. I wear my clunky watch, wedding ring and Giant's Causeway ring daily, and I even wore the same white gold pair of hoops for fifteen years (until I lost one of them last year), but anything else? The best it gets is the strand of pearls my stepmother bought for me upon my dad's death, and again, I wear those only with my cardigan and pencil skirt :-)
So what did I do? I ordered three dresses from Boden the week of the wedding, and chose one (they arrived the day before the wedding). I didn't like how the final choice looked on me, but it all honesty I chose it because it matched Baby <3.
I found the most amazing dress at Nordstrom for the evening reception, although I DID have to wear a half-tee because as Sarah said, "I was showing my religion in the back".
What would I have preferred to be wearing? A graphic tee with a cardigan and jeans with my brown clogs. I ask you, where is THAT wedding?
Everyone else looked seriously like a million dollars. Glo and Rebecca were bridesmaids (although Rebecca says this is her last wedding because she's getting too old), and they looked stunning in their dresses. Really, people mock bridesmaids and what they are forced to wear, but these dresses could transition to any party. In fact, just watching them move around, I felt so much pride at the beautiful people Rebecca and Glo are inside and out. But that's another blog post.
The boys? Shoooooot, they looked hot! And so as not to sound creepy, this includes my honey, John. I am so thankful that the men in my life have maintained their svelte figures. Gaining weight ages everyone, and my boys all look so young. And throw them in some tuxedos? Yes, thank you! Of course, this wasn't without some drama as Ethan showed up to pick up his tux, and the pants were four inches too short! But we got those fixed, and everything was good. And John had an excuse to buy a new suit since his one from 2003 (when he was called as bishop) has been begging for retirement, baggy pleated pants and all. And speaking of drama, Glo's dress didn't arrive until days before the wedding, and it was three inches too long...and Glo feels the same way about heels as I do. I was looking up tailors in the area, wondering how much it would cost to get it altered in one day, when I remembered a certain seamstress who just so happened to be staying under our roof for the weekend. #SarahIsADream. We pulled out my sewing machine from the back hall storage closet, and she worked her magic.
But the star of the day? Baby.
I found her a yellow flower girl dress online (don't get me started on all those Toddlers in Tiara websites), and Rebecca ordered it. Baby LOVED that dress. In fact, I don't see any clogs or graphic tees in her wedding future :-). She would twirl in it and talk about how beautiful it was. And Rebecca got her a white faux fur bolero jacket and white patent leather shoes with diamond straps. Oh my gosh Gerber, pick her as your next model!
But the best part of it all? Rebecca asked me to do Baby's hair for the big day and knowing that there wouldn't be time to actually curl it, and knowing that when I've curled it before, the curls fall out within hours, I asked Rebecca if she'd ever tried foam rollers in Baby's hair. No? Well there's nothing like the night before the big day to try them for the first time, right? :-)
I rolled Baby's wet hair the night before, and we hoped that she just wouldn't pull them out during the night. And miracle of miracles (nice wedding reference there, eh?), she woke up in the morning with the rollers still intact, and as we were in the temple parking lot, we pulled them out.
Her hair was PERFECT! I had asked Rebecca to get a big white bow, and we threw that in the front to keep the curls out of her eyes.
So, if I'm not allowed to wear clogs, can I please dress up like Baby? I can see it now--mother-of-the-groom sporting a Big-Bird-yellow dress with multiple tiers of chiffon, a faux fur white bolero jacket for which 50 faux fur rabbits gave their lives and Shirley Temple curls. Now THAT would be something to remember!
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