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Patriarchal Blessings

This weekend, I am fasting (once again) for our house to sell.  I have always believed in the power of fasting, and it's ability to bring us closer to the Spirit and to our Heavenly Father.  I liken fasting to a protein shake.  A glass of milk is fine in the morning to get you going.  It's nutritious and good for you.  Prayer is the same thing.  It gets us going, and it's good for us.  Fasting, though, is the protein shake.  If you want a little extra "oomph" to your pleadings with Heavenly Father, fasting will do it.  Some of my most sacred experiences have come through fasting.

John and I are incredibly frustrated about our house not selling.  I seriously want to weep every time I read about another one of our friends or family selling their house.  Most of the time, they sell them within days of putting their house on the market, and at the most, they wait a couple of months.  Our house has now been on the market for over a year, and we haven't had a single bite.  At this point, we would be happy to even have a lowball offer, and in all honesty, we would probably take it.

I've already written about our feelings about selling our house.  The timing has all come together for John to be released from the stake presidency and for Glo to be finished with high school.  The Lord has always directed our path, and we see new opportunities on the horizon.  We're ready to go, and in what was a surprise to both of us, the Spirit prompted us to put out house on the market independently of each other.  It's definitely seemed like the Lord has new plans for us.

While our house has been on the market for technically a year, we originally listed it back in March of 2015.  People were telling us left and right that it would sell within a month.  We weren't worried initially, because we didn't need to move.  We still had things to wrap up here in State College.  However, things are changing and we are feeling the need to go.

And it baffles both John and me that the house sale just isn't happening.

We have fasted over and over for it to happen.  We've asked our kids to fast and pray for it to happen. We've lowered the price, we've made some updates in the house, we've been patient.

And so, here I am today, fasting again.  I got up to read my gospel doctrine reading for today's lesson, and it was the story of the brother of Jared, asking for light in the barges.  Goodness, I felt like I could have replaced the word "barge" and put in "the Kennedys' life", and replaced "stones" with "house sale".   I feel as if we have done every creative thing to bring about what the Lord wants, and it just isn't happening.

And then, I had an impression to read my patriarchal blessing.

I have my patriarchal blessing practically memorized, so I don't feel the need to actually reread it very often.  Too, it talks a LOT about my college plans so sometimes it doesn't feel very pertinent to my life.  I actually went to the patriarch's house with John before I left for my freshman year at Mt. Holyoke.  To say that Patriarch Caldwell loved John is an understatement.  I think the fact that he knew we were dating colored many of the things he said in my patriarchal blessing, because honestly, it's obvious that he could hardly wait to begin talking about my "mate".  I don't mean "colored" in a bad way.  It's just it was a very deciding moment in my life.  I was trying to decide about my future plans, and there were a lot of opinions coming in from a lot of different directions.  I felt one thing, but my mother felt another.  And that was a big deal to me.  I basically knew that if I took the course I wanted to take (marrying John and giving up four years at Mt. Holyoke), my mother would disown me.  And to my credit for knowing her well, she did.

So, back to my morning today...

I'm not one to deny an impression, especially when I'm fasting, so if I felt I needed to read my patriarchal blessing again, I was going to do it.

Here's the very first paragraph:

Sister Larisa Ann Caruthers, by the authority of the Holy Melchizedek Priesthood and in the name of Jesus Christ, my hands are upon your head on this beautiful morning that you will receive a patriarchal blessing from your Father in Heaven who is aware that you are here, who is aware of your feelings at this time and what you are going to do.  He is pleased with the actions that you have taken.  Our Heavenly Father will bless you and give you strength that you need to make the adjustments in your life that will be necessary in the days ahead.

I have always read this from the perspective of a young 18-year-old, and I have always thanked Heavenly Father for letting me know that the decision I would make to marry John was the right decision.  However, I do tend to skip over this paragraph because I feel like it has already been fulfilled.

This morning, though, I was stopped dead in my tracks.  When I read it from the perspective of a 46-year-old me, trying to decide if we should move and make some major changes in our lives, it meant something completely new.

My Father in Heaven is aware that I am here.  Despite how I feel because he hasn't answered my prayers, I'm reminded that he has not forgotten me.

My Father in Heaven is aware of my feelings at this time.  He knows that I want to move, and he recognizes that I might feel confused.

My Father in Heaven is aware of what I am going to do.  He knows the plans that John and I have made.

Is he happy about them?

He is pleased with the actions that you have taken.

This is reassuring to say the least, but the best part is what is said next:

Our Heavenly Father will bless you.

This morning, I am hanging onto that promise.  I feel as if I'm exerting the faith of the brother of Jared in believing that Jesus can light the stones so no one is left in the dark.  I believe that Heavenly Father can help us sell our house so that we can move on with our lives.

The First Presidency of the church wrote that "Patriarchal blessings contemplate an inspired and prophetic statement of the life mission of the recipient, together with such blessings, cautions and admonitions as the patriarch may be prompted to give for the accomplishment of such life's mission, it being always made clear that the realization of all promised blessings is conditioned upon faithfulness to the gospel of our Lord."

I wish there was some time table that would let us know if this is going to happen.  However, all I can do is have faith.  I will believe that this is possible, and that it's what my Heavenly Father wants to happen.  I will believe.

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