Taking the High Road

Taking the high road.  It seems to be a theme in the lives of the Kennedy family.  In fact, I may have written about it before which makes me question if perhaps some future family members will feel the same pain and will want comfort. With that in mind, and with the love that I already feel for future Kennedy generations, I'm going to share very raw, very real feelings.

I hate taking the high road.  In very few situations does it ends up being a good thing for me.  In fact, in my mind, I end up in a world of hurt, and I once again question why I feel the need to do it in the first place.

About four years ago, I was called as a Sunday School teacher.  I wasn't too sure about the calling at first, because I was given the oldest youth in our ward (Mark was in the class at the time).  That can be a tricky age--not quite an adult, but not wanting to be treated like a child.  I expected just one thing from the kids:  respect.  I'm not talking the kind of respect that must be earned--that can take years.  I'm talking basic human courtesy:  listening in class, and participating.

I taught those kids for almost three years.  The older ones graduated, and younger ones replaced them.  There were times that I had to call them out for being rude, and there were also times when I was moved to tears because of the discussions we had.  I loved that calling.

I was unexpectedly released.  This happens in the church, so I didn't think much of it.  However, it seemed strange that there was no replacement in the works.

This also happened over a year ago with being choir pianist.  I was released very suddenly, and no replacement has been called.

Turns out, a couple of parents complained about me when I was teaching the Sunday School class.  I can imagine what their complaints came down to--they felt I was being mean, while I felt that I was teaching their kids how to be better human beings.

If I've said it once, I'll say it again:  it takes a village to raise a child.  I can't underestimate the importance other people have had in the lives of my children.  People with the last names of Swapp, Moran, Craddock, Fay, Cannon, Cordell, Oshiro, Drafall, Kendall and countless others.  I had no issue if those people expected much from my children--I feel there are certain life lessons that are learned better from adults other than parents.  I can see now that other parents do NOT feel the same as me.

And don't think that I'm not offended by others.  I'm one of the easiest offendable people on the planet! However, I find no reason to tattle to anyone about any of them.  I recognize that none of us is perfect and I believe that we all have a heck of a lot to offer.  We're working our hardest to do our best on this planet, and I would hope that we would all support each other.

So, as I picture some Kennedy grandchild, or great grandchild  reading this as an adult someday, you might think that I really have no understanding.  That your situation is so much worse.  I share with you one more story, seeing as we Kennedys love a good story.

About a year ago, I was gone for a short trip, leaving John and Glo at home.  There's a single dad in the ward who has a son, and John has become good friends with both of them.  From time to time (mostly when I'm gone), John invites them over for a good old game of HALO.  With me being gone, he took it as a perfect opportunity to have a game night with the four of them.

Unfortunately for John, the Young Men's president in our ward found out about it, and "reported" John to the bishop.  That's right, folks--he actually went to our bishop and told him about the game night.  You might wonder exactly why.  Turns out, he didn't approve of the game.

There are so many things wrong with this scenario, but in my mind the worst was that none of this was any of his business.  And if he had taken the high road (despite his objections)?  He wouldn't have even cared.

Fast forward to two weeks ago.  A graduating senior in the area asked to borrow John's Honda S2000. His family had owned it at one point, and John didn't see any issue in the boy taking it for a few days.  The only caveat:  John told him to not speed.  The inspection was expired, and the tires were bald.  Let's repeat that.  Do not speed.

He returned the car a couple of days later, and everything was fine.  Or at least we thought it was.

Turns out, the boy had taken the car onto a country back road in the area, accompanied by a friend.  The friend just happened to be the son of the ratting Young Men's leader.  That friend decided it would be fun to get the car up to 100 mph....and video record it.

You know those "stupid criminals"?  The people who steal something and then post on FB that they just stole something?  Well this kid decided to post it to YouTube.  Yep, he was pushing the borrower of the car to push the car to the maximum speed.

Remember how "evil" HALO had been deemed?  Bad enough to report my husband to the bishop.  Let's compare this to the car incident.  In the first situation, John is befriending a man who is struggling through a divorce.  In the second, the kids are breaking the law.  Which situation do you think is really the wrong situation?

Now let's see.  If John reacted how he could have reacted, he would have just called the police, the kids would have been fined, and the driver would have lost his license.  We know this because John actually did call the police and ask.  Too, don't you think John had every right to go to the bishop and tell him exactly what had happened?  These ARE his youth afterall.

Nope.  He did none of that.  There was no "eye for an eye" mentality.  In fact, he worked out the punishment between the boys and himself, because the parents asked him to.  Remember the idea about the village?  I can guarantee that those boys will learn something from John and his personal lesson about justice and mercy.

This, future Kennedys, is NOT the outlook of most people. In fact, you will find more people in this world who just want to tear you down because ... and here's the kicker .... they think they are always right. 

And this is where it gets really, really hard.  You will know that they aren't right, but you will keep your mouth shut because you don't want to cause any more problems.  No headaches for the people who are giving you migraines.

I don't know why we do this.  I honestly can't see any good come from it in our own personal Kennedy lives.  In my experience, the squeaky wheel really DOES get the grease.  I'm hoping that there will be some mansion up in heaven, saved for those of us who decided to take the high road, who saw the bigger view and saw no immediate blessings for any of it.