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A Bane of My Existence

I can't make yeast bread.  You know, good old white (or wheat) bread that makes the entire house smell like heaven.  Yeah, I can't make it.

This is an odd thing, because I cook much like my mother, and she would win awards at the Lubbock County fair for her bread.  I can remember that she would put it out in the Volvo station wagon to rise, because being Texas, it was plenty warm in there.  It was the best bread I've ever eaten.

I can make just about anything, but my baked goods are especially delicious.  I have my occasional off day, but for the most part, I make some of the best baked goods my family has ever had (and they insist their opinions are completely unbiased).  Glo will eat upwards of 15 banana muffins in a day when I make them.  John eats my chocolate chip cookies by the handful.  And baking powder biscuits?  I can make them in my sleep.

But yeast bread continues to elude me.  I have had friends who have given me recipes that they insist are fool proof (me, being the fool).  "You can't mess these up," they say.

Oh yes I can.  And I'm not even trying.

My girls attend church activities where they come home, having made a delicious loaf of white bread.  They tell me that it wasn't hard at all, and that they have the recipe--they can show me how to do it.  I stand back and watch as they try to make it again, and no surprise, it doesn't work.

The worst is yeast rolls.  My eyes turn Grinch green with envy when my sister-in-law, Katrina, pulls out her yeast rolls.  And she makes so many of them that people can just eat them all day long.  If I could make even ONE of those rolls, I would hoard it and call it "my precious".

My yeast rolls resemble rocks.  And they taste like rocks too.

This frustrates me like no other in the kitchen.  I can't figure out what the secret is.  I have heated my water to exactly 110 degrees.  I have bought fresh yeast.  I have kneaded.  I have heated my oven to 80 degrees (not one degree more or less).  I have punched the dough.  I have shaped it.  I have oiled my bowl.  I have tried to figure out what a "stiff" dough is.  Everything.

A couple of months ago a friend of mine asked me if I had a Kitchen-Aid stand mixer.  Of COURSE I have a Kitchen-Aid stand mixer.  I asked for one years ago, and I honestly don't know how I lived without it before.  She told me that I could make yeast bread in my stand mixer.  No kneading required.  Could it really be?  I am so desperate to overcome this shortcoming of mine that I bought a new jar of yeast and took a deep breath.

I found a recipe for white sandwich bread (for stand mixers) on a site called "Cooking by the Seat of Our Pants".  I don't think a recipe could be better catered for me and my dysfunctional yeast bread abilities.

Check it, BABY!


I know it's not perfect--it probably could have risen longer--but you should have heard my shouts of joy as each step progressed as it should.  In fact, when it rose for the second time and as I was putting it in the oven, I had to *ssshhh* myself, because I didn't want to tempt the bread gods into seeing my pleasure and making the dough fall.

The house smells lovely, and it's all Glo can do not to eat it before dinner.  And in celebration, I'm pulling out an oldie, but goodie from my Grandad McMillin (my mom's father).  He used to make these every time I visited:  Minute Steaks.

We're eatin' good tonight!

Comments

  1. Long time reader, first time commenter! So, when I finally learned how to make yeasty breads, it was a true miracle. True indeed. I don't know if you are using active yeast or instant but I use active and the longer you let the yeast "proof" the lighter the bread is, and the higher it goes. It usually says to let it proof 5 minutes but I let it sit there for 15 minutes. It turns out pretty good. Good job with the bread!

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  2. I make perfect breads and rolls thanks to my bread machine. Well worth the cost! :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Woo Hoo! Great work. I too have struggled to make perfect bread. One day I actually measured my sugar instead of just using the spoon on the sugar canister and that solved the mystery for me.

    ReplyDelete

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