Skip to main content

A Bane of My Existence

I can't make yeast bread.  You know, good old white (or wheat) bread that makes the entire house smell like heaven.  Yeah, I can't make it.

This is an odd thing, because I cook much like my mother, and she would win awards at the Lubbock County fair for her bread.  I can remember that she would put it out in the Volvo station wagon to rise, because being Texas, it was plenty warm in there.  It was the best bread I've ever eaten.

I can make just about anything, but my baked goods are especially delicious.  I have my occasional off day, but for the most part, I make some of the best baked goods my family has ever had (and they insist their opinions are completely unbiased).  Glo will eat upwards of 15 banana muffins in a day when I make them.  John eats my chocolate chip cookies by the handful.  And baking powder biscuits?  I can make them in my sleep.

But yeast bread continues to elude me.  I have had friends who have given me recipes that they insist are fool proof (me, being the fool).  "You can't mess these up," they say.

Oh yes I can.  And I'm not even trying.

My girls attend church activities where they come home, having made a delicious loaf of white bread.  They tell me that it wasn't hard at all, and that they have the recipe--they can show me how to do it.  I stand back and watch as they try to make it again, and no surprise, it doesn't work.

The worst is yeast rolls.  My eyes turn Grinch green with envy when my sister-in-law, Katrina, pulls out her yeast rolls.  And she makes so many of them that people can just eat them all day long.  If I could make even ONE of those rolls, I would hoard it and call it "my precious".

My yeast rolls resemble rocks.  And they taste like rocks too.

This frustrates me like no other in the kitchen.  I can't figure out what the secret is.  I have heated my water to exactly 110 degrees.  I have bought fresh yeast.  I have kneaded.  I have heated my oven to 80 degrees (not one degree more or less).  I have punched the dough.  I have shaped it.  I have oiled my bowl.  I have tried to figure out what a "stiff" dough is.  Everything.

A couple of months ago a friend of mine asked me if I had a Kitchen-Aid stand mixer.  Of COURSE I have a Kitchen-Aid stand mixer.  I asked for one years ago, and I honestly don't know how I lived without it before.  She told me that I could make yeast bread in my stand mixer.  No kneading required.  Could it really be?  I am so desperate to overcome this shortcoming of mine that I bought a new jar of yeast and took a deep breath.

I found a recipe for white sandwich bread (for stand mixers) on a site called "Cooking by the Seat of Our Pants".  I don't think a recipe could be better catered for me and my dysfunctional yeast bread abilities.

Check it, BABY!


I know it's not perfect--it probably could have risen longer--but you should have heard my shouts of joy as each step progressed as it should.  In fact, when it rose for the second time and as I was putting it in the oven, I had to *ssshhh* myself, because I didn't want to tempt the bread gods into seeing my pleasure and making the dough fall.

The house smells lovely, and it's all Glo can do not to eat it before dinner.  And in celebration, I'm pulling out an oldie, but goodie from my Grandad McMillin (my mom's father).  He used to make these every time I visited:  Minute Steaks.

We're eatin' good tonight!

Comments

  1. Long time reader, first time commenter! So, when I finally learned how to make yeasty breads, it was a true miracle. True indeed. I don't know if you are using active yeast or instant but I use active and the longer you let the yeast "proof" the lighter the bread is, and the higher it goes. It usually says to let it proof 5 minutes but I let it sit there for 15 minutes. It turns out pretty good. Good job with the bread!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I make perfect breads and rolls thanks to my bread machine. Well worth the cost! :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Woo Hoo! Great work. I too have struggled to make perfect bread. One day I actually measured my sugar instead of just using the spoon on the sugar canister and that solved the mystery for me.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Quest for Birkenstocks

One of the main reasons I go to Germany every couple of years is to restock my supply of Birkenstocks.  I started buying them when I lived there, and I basically can't live without them now.  It just about kills me when a pair runs its course and needs to be thrown away.  I think in my lifetime, I've thrown away only three pairs.  One that never was quite right (the straps were plastic and would cut into my skin after a long day), one pair that I wore gardening one too many times (the brown dirt stains wouldn't come out of the white leather), and the pair that I was wearing when I broke my ankle (they were an unfortunate casualty of broken ankle PTSD because those purple and blue paisleys go down as one of my favorite pairs of all time).  I only threw out the garden ones a couple of days before I left for Germany, because I knew I would be getting a new pair. The only store where I have ever bought my Birkenstocks is Hoffmann's in Speicher.  (Well okay, t...

Stuck Between a Rock and a Hard Place

I'm writing this, not as a complaint, but as a plea.  If anyone has any advice, I would greatly appreciate it. My children are talented.  In fact, every child that I have ever met is talented in some way.  That's the fun thing about meeting kids--discovering those hidden talents. Some of the talents my children possess are very public--you guessed it...music.  Some aren't so public--kindness and generosity. My kids are frequently judged by other children because of their musical talents.  Other kids see them as "snobs" because they play their instruments well and because they are willing to share those talents whenever asked. My kids never play with arrogance.  They recognize that they are better at music than most kids their age, but they never, ever show it.  In fact, they are very generous with compliments towards other kids and their efforts with music.  I have raised them to appreciate anyone who tries to do anything with music--it's ...

Johannah's Bridal Shower

One of the only reasons to lament my daughter not living in Utah anymore? Sister Mecham.  When I think back to the absolutely classic, beautiful, elegant, heart-warming bridal shower she threw for Glo, I literally sit in awe.  Her talents and abilities are unmatched! Believe me, I was hoping anyone  would volunteer to throw Hannah a bridal shower.  Being only two weeks post-op, I knew it was going to be very difficult for me to stand up let alone host the thing.  I even asked several people about me throwing it, thinking they would tell me it wasn't  up to me, but do you know what they ALL said? Of course  I should host it. This is what we do, baby! So I took a deep breath and decided to do it the best I could do it, knowing that I would never equal what Becky Mecham could do. Since Hannah's wedding colors were Tigers colors, and since Hannah loves baseball, I figured a baseball-themed bridal shower would be perfect for her.  And she agreed! But l...