Getting a Job

At the end of September, I went to the temple to see a friend's daughter receive her endowments.  There were several ward members there including Kimberly Majeske who has been a friend for the past few years.  She is also a skilled pianist.  While waiting in the celestial room, Kimberly told me she had a question for me about a job.  My interest was immediately piqued, and I didn't delay in getting the details.

The middle school that her children attend, Millenium Middle School in South Lyon, Michigan, was looking for a studio accompanist for the choir program.

Hold. The Phones.

Seriously?

If I have hoped to have one dream job in my life, a school studio accompanist would be it.  In fact, I had always hoped for a job like this when I had kids at home because it follows school schedules (which means I'm off when the kids are off school) and because it was a chance to spend some time with own kids.  With no kids at home anymore, obviously I couldn't focus on the second part of that wish, BUT it would still bring me into contact with other kids.  The choir director had asked Kimberly to take the job but with three kids at home and home-schooling at least part-time, she just didn't have the time to take it on.

Kimberly told me she would pass along my information to the choir director (which she did), and he called me the next day.

First impression: he talks a lot about himself.  In fact, on that first phone call, I listened to "Mr. Knapp" for a good 30 minutes, unable to get a word in.  I thought he would want to know about me and my qualifications, but no.  From Kimberly had told him and from what he had gathered about me on social media, he was ready for me to fill out my W-2 that day ;-)

I asked him if we could meet, and if he felt like he would like to pursue a working relationship, maybe I could have a trial period of a week.  See what he thought AND what I thought.  I could tell that he really didn't need to see more, but I did.

I have tried to have jobs through the years.  In the beginning, I wasn't willing to sacrifice my life with my kids, and now I have to be sensitive to my health and pushing myself too hard.  I didn't want this to be another situation where I do it for a while but then "opt out" for any number of reasons.  I wanted to be sure.

I showed up the first day and could sight read all of the music.  And I followed him.  And I'm happy and smiley and easy to get along with.  He tried to pin me down after the first day, but I told him I would tell him at the end of the week if I would take the job.

I started praying.  I wasn't sure that I wanted to give up my "queen" lifestyle (as John so appropriately calls it ;-))  And I wondered if I could still serve my family and in the temple and in my callings while working.  I've made a pretty nice life for myself, and I certainly don't need the money (as I had to reassure Mr. Knapp when he kept telling me how I could earn extra hours of work).  And 15-20 hours a week--that's pittance compared to what John does, but that eats up a solid three days of my work week.  All for $18/hour.....

No matter the arguments I had with Heavenly Father, I was overcome with a feeling of total peace.  There wasn't a single twang of worry or guilt about taking it.  So I signed the paperwork, got my ID card, and headed in three days a week.

Very quickly I noticed something rather disturbing.  Mr. Knapp was patronizing, belittling and manipulating in his teaching style.  These sixth through eighth graders were being expected to learn something the first time, and if they couldn't repeat it back the next day or the next week, they were made to feel stupid and were punished with cruel homework.

Coupled with that, there was a girl in one of the sixth grade choirs who very obviously has Tourette's.  Her vocal snorts became so loud that Mr. Knapp yelled at her at one point, "YOU. ARE. A. PIG!"  I told my family about this, and every one of them told me that I needed to turn him in.  When I hadn't done it after a couple of days, Ethan actually pointed out that I was enabling his abuse.

Along the way, Mr. Knapp would try and reel me in by saying things like, "Mrs. Kennedy, can you believe it is taking them this long to learn this?", but I wouldn't take his side.  Sitting at the piano, I would simply smile at the kids and say, "I think they're trying Mr. Knapp.  Let's do it again."

Fast forward to this week.  I still hadn't told the principal of the school about any of this, but then the proverbial straw broke my camel's back.  Mr. Knapp came in, telling us that he had spoken to one of his choir teacher friends that morning.  He had expressed to her how frustrated and angry he had been this school year, and she told him that he "can't want it more than the kids", and as a consequence, shouldn't care if the kids sang correctly or not.  So over a 15-minute lecture at the beginning of each class period, Mr. Knapp told the kids that he would no longer be telling them what they were doing wrong.  He would simply tell them they were wrong and would move on.

I tried to tell him after I heard this first iteration of this lecture that I didn't think it would work (but not for the reasons he imagined).  As my children have grown, I have tried letting go and being an easy-peasy kind of mom....and they kids hate it, Glo especially.  They want a leader, somebody to tell them what to do so that things flow better.  And Mr. Knapp then used this in the subsequent lectures, I guess trying to say that we were in agreement about what he was doing.

All I could think about was teaching my own kids.  I can't even imagine if when they were five, I had taught them how to clean their room and for their rest of their childhoods I had said, "I guess you'll always live in a pigsty because I taught you how to clean your room when you were five."  What a cowardly approach to teaching.  Or math.  Yes, I could teach Calculus to Baby now and say, "Well, I taught it to you when you were eight, so I can't help it if you don't know how to do it."  No, no, NO! This is what teachers and parents do--we teach things over and over and over, again and again and again so that kids can learn to be successful (and if we're being honest, how many times does Heavenly Father do this with us as well?)  Maybe because Mr. Kanpp is a 28-year-old  angry gay man who never plans on having children, he doesn't understand this concept of teaching? Honestly, when I have spoken to Glo about this, she knows so many things wrong with his philosophy just from taking the education classes in her major.  

I knew I needed to turn him in.  If for no other reason, the stress of dealing with his poor attitude with the kids is causing me physical stress--I haven't been sleeping well, my back is in constant pain, and I'm nursing a bad cold.  Too, I cry at the drop of the hat and seriously, I'm not a crier.  But for some strange reason, I was terrified to do so.  This was Wednesday.

Thursday, I was in the temple subbing in the morning, and I went into the celestial room and opened to James (the Come, Follow Me reading assignment for this week).  There was the well-known scripture in James 1:5, "If any of ye lack wisdom, let him ask of God..." and right there, I bowed my head and asked of God what to do.  It was almost a voice in my head that told me I needed to reach out to my therapist, Teresa.  I rushed into the locker room and texted her, and lo and behold, she had one slot open that night.

Our appointments are usually an hour long, but I was so resistant and fearful to the idea of turning him in that she extended our appointment to 90 minutes.  I asked her exactly what I should say to the principal, and with 35 years of education experience behind her, she fed me the words that I wrote down to use as notes.

The next day dawned, and I was hosting a luncheon at my house, but I called the school and left a message with the principal's secretary, asking for an appointment either later in the day, or on Monday or Tuesday.  My luncheon ended at 2:30, and at 2:48, the principal called me (which I was not ready for AT ALL!).  I asked her to hold on while I pulled up my notes, and then I launched into so many stories of what has happened over the past five weeks.  She wasn't completely surprised, and yet she was horrified.  She praised me for having the courage to tell her (I mean seriously, how have no other accompanists said anything?), and asked me to continue on how I have been--not siding with him, but not fighting with him in front of the kids either.  She also asked if I would watch him over the next two weeks and then she would circle back with me (after talking to him this Monday).

It was such a relief to finally say something.  I don't know what took so long, but I'm glad I had a list and not just one incident to report.  But what I keep telling everyone? THIS IS ABOVE MY PAY GRADE.  All I want to do is show up and play the piano--I don't want to be a monitor or the teaching police.  When I am playing and the kids are singing, I am SO HAPPY.  That's all I want.

But you know, both John and Teresa have brought me back to the peace I felt when I prayed about this job.  Obviously Heavenly Father wanted me to take it for a reason, and as Ms. Gallagher, the principal, said, we have to be advocates for the kids by watching out for them and keeping them safe.  Maybe Heavenly Father knew that I was just the person to do that.