Good afternoon brothers and sisters. As they said, my name is Johannah Kennedy, and I was asked to speak on Growing in the Gospel without judgement. When Brother Bartmess extended this invitation to me, I asked if he wanted me to focus on how to let go of our judgment of others in order to grow in the Gospel, or how to grow in Gospel when we feel judged by others. He paused, smiled, and said, “Both.” So, I’m going to do my very best to cover both topics in fifteen minutes.
I want to start by talking about how to let go of our natural tendency to judge others in order to grow in the Gospel. Unfortunately, the temptation to notice the weaknesses of those around us is often too hard to resist, and sometimes, we do it without even realizing it. When we meet someone for the first time, our minds naturally assess their appearance, their voice, their facial expressions, and their way of interacting with others. This first impression can often mean the difference between our inclination to either spend more time getting to know them, or time getting away from them. We all have our preferences for the types of people with whom we surround ourselves, and that’s perfectly okay. The important thing is to treat everyone with the same respect and recognize that everyone has something unique to offer to the world.
He says, “Hobbits are between two and four feet tall. By nature, they were of gentle disposition, neither cruel nor vindictive, Slow to quarrel, they never had been warlike, and never fought amongst themselves.” Tolkien’s description of hobbits may cause you to wonder why they were constantly roped into these perilous journeys alongside the likes of Gimli, Legolas, and Aragorn. They had what seemed like were few qualities of worth on an adventure that was sure to be filled with danger, fighting, and hard work. In the Hobbit movie, Galadriel also has this question, and asks Gandalf. “Why the halfling? (referring to hobbits). He responds, and says
“I don’t know. Saruman (the white wizard) believes it is only great power that can hold evil in check. But that is not what I found. I have found that it is the small everyday deeds of ordinary folks that keep the darkness at bay. Simple acts of kindness and love. Why hobbits? Perhaps because I am afraid, and they give me courage.”
These small-in-stature hobbits were perhaps, at first glance, not someone to whom we would naturally gather ourselves. They were not obvious sources of great power. They were not natural leaders or warriors, their knowledge of the world was rather limited, and it may seem that their involvement in the process would have little effect on the overall conclusion of the story. But we learn that hobbits are courageous, and strong-willed, and the One Ring, which so easily corrupts the hearts of men, and elves, and dwarves, cannot so easily corrupt the hearts of hobbits, because it does not see them as a threat to its existence. It, with everyone around them, misjudged them because of their outward appearance, when in reality, their very nature made them the perfect bearers of the ring, and ultimately, the quest succeeded because the hearts of hobbits were stronger than those of men, elves, and dwarves. They were consistently and wrongfully underestimated.
When we meet someone, we often focus on their outward appearance. This doesn’t just mean their actual physical appearance, but also their attitude and personality. The ways in which they outwardly present themselves. But this outward appearance does not always reflect who they are, or who God sees them to be.
In 1 Samuel 16, Samuel is trying to find out who the next king should be. The Lord tells him to go to the house of Jesse, and anoint one of his sons. Samuel obeys, and is presented with the eldest of Jesse’s sons when he arrives. Samuel says that this man, this war-forged, tall, strong oldest son must surely be the next king.
“But the Lord said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the Lord seeth not as a man seeth, for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart.”
Samuel is then presented with the other sons, until the only one left is David, who had to be called in from tending the sheep, because he wasn’t even a thought when Samuel arrived. He was chosen of the Lord, not because he was strong or tall or clean or confident. He was chosen because he was goodly to look to, and he had a strong heart. The Lord loves those who strive to do what is right, and who rely on Him, rather than their own strength. So, when we want to judge others for who they are based on their outward appearance, follow the words of Elder Uchtdorf, and STOP IT!
Now, this is easier said than done. It’s great to know WHY we should stop judging others, but the real question is how. And that answer is simple. It is through Jesus Christ that we can overcome our tendency to judge others.
I would guess that many of you are familiar with the stories of Jesus and his ability to see the beauty and potential in each person. He sat and dined with sinners, the outcasts, those who were rejected from society. He called out the Pharisees and Sadducees, those who were seen by the people as the ideal example of who to be, but who were in reality hypocrites and unbelievers. Christ was able to look past the outward characteristics of people and recognize who they were, and loved all those who came unto Him.
We are not perfect like Jesus, but through him, we can become perfect. The goal is just to keep trying to be like him. And we can only do that by following His example. The path to discipleship is long, and difficult, and it is often lonely. We need to assess our own actions and thoughts, and look for ways in which we can improve. Maybe that means avoiding gossip, or reaching out to those who are rejected by others. Maybe it means reprimanding ourselves when we fall into the temptation of judging others, silently, or aloud. We need to become self-aware, and aware of those with whom we surround ourselves. We may want to hang out with people who exemplify strength or toughness or great intelligence, or who seem to live perfect lives, like Aragorn, Legolas, or Gimli, and again, that’s fine. But it’s important to remember that there are hobbits out there, people who are underestimated and undervalued, who need our love and friendship just as much. And it’s likely that we need their love and friendship as well. It’s possible that they’ll make us better people than those supposed perfect individuals ever could, because they often exemplify the humility, compassion, and love of the Savior. When you find yourself judging someone else for being who they are, stop, and ask Heavenly Father to fill you with charity, and the love of Christ. You may not feel an instantaneous change in your heart, but then go, and be that individual’s friend. Over time, you will develop a greater love for them as a person, and your heart will be filled with the Savior’s love for them, as well as His joy in you for helping gather the sheep of his flock.
And now to my next subject. How to grow in the Gospel when we feel judged by others. Being criticized, or becoming the subject of gossip or humiliation can cripple our self-esteem, and render us fearful and resentful. I have some personal experience with this. I have been the subject of a lot of criticism from my peers, whether it be in school, church, relationships, or on my mission. I have been made very aware that my personality can sometimes come off as harsh, negative, or snobby. A friend once described me as “prickly,”-like a cactus. And he didn’t mean it in a good way. This criticism, in addition to the bullying I experienced as I child, did nothing to make me feel better about myself, and, instead, it simply made me feel bad and angry that no one could look past my apparently intimidating exterior to see who I am inside. Like most of us, I just wanted people to love me for who I am, and not for who they thought I should be. So when I say that I understand how it feels to be judged, I really mean it.
Now, I’m not angry about those criticisms anymore. They still hurt a little, but it’s easier to laugh about them now, because I am aware that I can be intimidating, and I can sometimes be a little too obvious or honest about how I feel. And I’ve come to recognize that that isn’t always a bad thing. The change in perspective happened on my mission, so I’ll tell you all the story. It’s a little long, so bear with me.
I served my mission in Quito, Ecuador. There, I met many wonderful people, and I learned a lot about myself, and my Savior. A lot happened on my mission, most of it good, but some bad sprinkled in there too. Missions are difficult, and they’re a lot of work, and sometimes, you wonder why you ever gave up the opportunity to stay home so you could face constant rejection and heartbreak. But, you find those people who become dear to you, who hold a special place in your heart, and it all becomes worth it.
So, I’d like to tell you about one of them. In my eighth transfer, I would sent to an area with only one active investigator. Now, for Ecuador, that was very unusual. Truthfully, the missionaries who had been there before hadn’t worked as hard as maybe they should have, and the area was a bit of a mess when I arrived. It didn’t help that my companion and I were assigned to act as the mission nurses until the senior couple who would be taking over arrived the next transfer, so we only had about two to three hours a day to find and teach people the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
My third day in the area, I met this solitary active investigator. His name was Rene, and he was a lively middle-aged gentleman who suffered from alcoholism. He was, in essence, the perfect investigator, but his addiction had kept him from baptism for almost a year. I got to know Rene, and I felt very inspired as to how to help him.
I told him that I was determined to help him make it to baptism, so he could fulfill his goal of becoming a member of the church. He told me that he was scared and wasn’t sure that he could do it. But I looked at him, and I said, yes, you can. And we’re going to help you do it. So, I want you to set your own baptismal date. It’s always been decided for you, but now, I want you to decide the day on which you will follow the example of Jesus Christ, and be baptized. He chose a date, and over the course of eight weeks, we worked with Rene. That sometimes meant walking him home at night so he wouldn’t pass his drinking buddies, or calling him each day to check on his progress. I found out that his friends, who were about five feet tall, were slightly afraid of me because of my height, and would sometimes avoid him because they were scared of running into me. Suddenly being intimidating didn’t seem so bad.
The ward was skeptical of Rene’s ability to make it to his baptismal date. He had had three previous dates, and had never made it all the way, and they had begun to feel frustrated with his apparent lack of progress. They had, essentially, given up on him, and many members of the ward leadership felt irritated by our continued attempts to help Rene. We actually faced a lot of opposition, and it was in this time, in that area, working with Rene, that I began to see how those qualities that had deemed me harsh and prickly in the past, were suddenly becoming a strength and a force for good that would help me help my dear friend achieve his goals of following his Savior.
I fought back against those who doubted Rene, and I insisted that they treat him with the same enthusiasm that they exhibited when new people came to church. He deserved that much. Honestly, they didn’t change much, but the ward mission leader and several recent converts worked with us to invite him over for meals, and to have lessons with him so he could feel kinship and acceptance. And when his baptismal day arrived, so did Rene, fully worthy and prepared to make covenants with his Heavenly Father, to leave behind who he was before, and start walking the path of discipleship. He was baptized, and he was overjoyed, as was I.
Unfortunately, the opposition was still not over. After Rene’s baptism, we discussed giving him a calling with the ward council, and some of them felt he was not yet ready. We then reminded them of the section in Preach My Gospel that says that every new member of the church needs three things: a friend, a responsibility, and to be nourished by the good word of God. We, along with several of the members, were providing the friends and the nourishment, but it was up to the leaders to give him an assignment.
They told us in ward council that he should be the one to push the play button on the CD player to start the music for the hymns each Sunday. Now, I understand that every calling is important, but that isn’t a calling. And I was rather upset that that was the best they could do for the man who had worked so hard to follow his Savior. I don’t think I ever felt or understood the idea of righteous indignation until that moment of my life. I said, “Absolutely not.” I couldn’t believe it. I have great respect and love for the leaders in this church, but at that moment, I knew, and God knew that they were wrong. And I was apparently God’s chosen vessel to tell them so. I honestly can’t remember what I said, and I think I used Spanish words that I hadn’t ever even learned, because I know that God was directing what I said. Just to be clear, I didn’t say any bad words or anything, but I was at that moment, probably the most intimidating and scary that I’ve ever been. When I finished, I looked around, and many people were surprised, but I was even more surprised to find that the ward mission leader, the man who still believed in Rene, was smiling and nodding his head at me.
Two weeks later, Rene was called to be a Sunday School teacher, and he loved the opportunity to share his testimony and thoughts with others, and his humility and love for the Gospel, combined with his conversion story, inspired others to share their testimonies as well, and allowed everyone to feel comfortable sharing their thoughts. It was beautiful to see, and I felt at that moment, that Rene was the reason that God called me to serve a mission. He needed me there, at that time, with that man, because I had something unique to offer.
I recognized that my weaknesses as a child, the ones that had so often been pointed out to me, had become strengths through the Savior and his love for his people. That change allowed me to defend my friend, and gave me the courage and determination to do what I knew was right. In Ether 12:27, the Lord says “And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto them weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for it they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.”
Maybe you feel judged, and maybe others have told you that what you have to offer isn’t enough, or it excludes you from God’s love. Whatever it is, it isn’t true. God’s love is always fully extended to you, and it’s up to you to decide what to do with it. If you feel unsure about coming to church or activities, or about interacting with others because you’re worried that they’re judging you, just remember that God loves you for who you are. He is very aware of every one of your weaknesses, at least the ones that matter, because He gave them to you. And He did it so you would recognize your humanity, and come to rely on Him to turn those weaknesses into strengths.
So, when you feel judged, remember that there is an all-powerful divine being watching over you, who loves you, and loves everything that makes you who you are. In God and Jesus Christ, there is safety and peace to the soul. Come unto them, and they will change your life. When you doubt, remember that Christ was judged and rejected by so many people, and he understands your pain. But don’t let others' perception of you affect how you think God sees you. Instead, think first about your divine identity as a child of God, and let that shape your perception of who you are. I know that God loves you, and that He is so happy that you are here today. I know that as you come unto your Savior, and work to follow him, you will find peace and joy in this life, and the life to come.
I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
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