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Lines. So Many Lines.

A month ago, John told me that he had taken five days off to go work in PA, but for some reason, the powers that be didn't schedule him...which meant he had five free days!  Seeing as they started the day after my birthday, I decided that we would go on a surprise birthday trip.  Yes, I wasn't suprised, but I kept it a surprise for John...until he opened his Delta app and saw the airport destination.  That was a lot disappointing for me, but seeing as our actual destination was two hours from the airport, he didn't know all of the details.

Why did I keep it a surprise?  Because in planning an upcoming diving trip in Grand Cayman, John had SO MANY opinions.  He basically wanted a champagne trip on a beer budget.  I didn't thin I could do that again with another trip, so I planned the whole thing.  There actually wasn't a whole lot of planning involved, because I reserved us three nights in a resort.  But that will be another post.

We were flying to Phoenix.  John got home from work at 2 p.m., and our flight left at 4:00.  Here begins the lines:

1.  We drove to Park 'n Go WHERE WE ALWAYS PARK, and they told us without a reservation, we had to go to "Airlines Parking" down the road.  We turned around and drove there.  We were directed to the exact row where we were supposed to park, even following the shuttle while the driver picked up people.  Once we got out of the car....we couldn't take us.  So we waited with several other people to be picked up. Our driver ended up filling the entire shuttle, so when our luggage was unloaded, ours was last.  We just waited for it.

2.  Thankfully, we are signed up for TSA pre-check, because the line through security was out the cordons and down the hall to parking.  That $75 is going to pay off beautifully over the next five years.  But there was still a line.

Pause for a moment.  I don't know if it's spring break, or what, but EVERYTHING is full everywhere we have gone.

3.  This is a record of the line we DIDN'T stand in.  Because of COVID brain fog, I have all kinds of memory problems.  With that, I forgot to pick up my suitcase as we exited security, but I didn't remember until we were going down one of the two DOWN escalators into the terminal.  Literally, there was no way to just turn around, walk back and grab it.  In fact, the only way to get back was to exit the terminal and go back through security again.  Well, that wasn't the ONLY way.  There also were two down escalators, one of which had nobody on it.  Somebody grab John a superhero cape, because in clogs, he ran back UP the escalator, grabbed the bag, and came back down.  He is SUCH a man!

4.  When we got to our gate, the flight attendant was asking for two volunteers to give up their seats.  We had flexible plans, so we went up to the counter.  As she was going to type in our names, she told us "something just happened" to her computer, and she wasn't sure she needed volunteers anymore.  But, she wanted to take our names just in case.  And she told us that we weren't to get on the flight until she announced that she did or didn't need volunteers.  So when John's Silver Priority status was announced, and only a handful of people got in line, we remained seated.  It wasn't until everyone on the flight had been announced that she announced that she didn't need us.  So not only did we stand in a line with 50 people in front of us, but we had to check our bags.

Poor John, slumming it with me in coach ;-)

5.  As John said, I don't know why anyone around us stood up when the seat belt sign was turned off when we landed, because it was a good 20 minutes more until we got off, seeing as we were in the back of the plane.  The wait did actually pay off because our luggage was already on the carousel when we got to baggage claim.  Silver linings, eh? ;-)

6.  We followed the signs to the "rental car shuttle" and stood in line for another 15 minutes.  I began to worry, seeing how many people were staining in line with us, but my worries were premature.  When I ran off the shuttle to get ahead of our fellow passengers, I was dismayed to see 45 people (yes, that's FORTY FIVE) standing in line for our car rental company.  Every other counter had 2-6 people, but ours had 45.  I had booked through Travelocity which never charges me until I get to the counter, but this time AND THIS TIME ONLY, they had charged me $118.  So while John waited in line, trying to get a car through National, I waited on hold for Travelocity to answer so I could try and talk my way out of it.  Yeah, they never answered, and John didn't get a car.  We figured by the time we actually rented the car, we were home free, but no.

7.  We took our rental agreement and headed down to the garage, only to see another line.  For some bizarre reason, Dollar was sending one person out to fetch a car and drive it back to the renter.  They then waited until the renter had all their stuff loaded in and drove away to go get another car.  It was INSANE.  While we were standing in unbelief with the rest of the renters, John overhead the woman managing the line tell someone that they had a truck sitting right there if anyone wanted it.  He walked up and said we would take it.  She looked at him suspiciously and told him that the people in front of us had first dibs on it if they wanted it.  So John looked at her and said, "Ask them."  She did.  Nobody wanted it.  John picked up our suitcases and walked out to it without looking back.

Lucky me, I was the designated driver, so there I was, driving the largest personal vehicle I've ever driven (looking at you, Penske trucks and Cruise America RV).  But we didn't head out before a stop at Chick-fil-a, because watching our seat mate chow through his deliciousness on the plane was just too much for me, despite packing an entire disposable dinner for us ;-)

Thankfully, when we arrived at the hotel, we arrived SO LATE that there was no line.

But shoot, I was apologizing up and down and left and right to John for a trip that took us almost 12 hours to finish.  I don't even want to think about going home....

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