"This is Where I Want to Be"

Yesterday, I went to the temple for an office worker training session.  The temple is slated to open in a week, and the temple presidency is attempting to get things in order before it opens.  Full disclosure: I do NOT enjoy working in the office which is very strange, because I've spent any working years of my life as a receptionist/secretary/switchboard operator, and I love the job.  The problem this time is that there is no clear explanation of how to do anything in the office--as the office manager said when I first hired on, "You'll pick it up."  I want a binder that has tabs for every procedure that needs to be done with clear instructions which would make sense because we have  so many  different workers.  Another problem is that because we don't have clear instructions, several of the women who have done this for years have their own way of doing things, often contrary to each other, and if and when I stray from what one of them has told me, the other one calls me out.  Poor John has to live with my crankiness the night before any office temple shift (this is not to be confused with being an ordinance worker which I could do every minute for the rest of my life).

Anyway....

Once we got through the first three things on three pages of items AND OUR TIME WAS UP, I decided to give myself a tour around the temple.  Many things have changed, and it's fun to see what's still there, and what is new.  I walked into the main foyer and through the glass doors of the baptistry, I saw President and Sister Middleton, the second counselor and matron in the temple presidency, sitting in the front row of pews behind the font.

Several weeks ago, President Middleton sent out the weekly email that we receive from a member of the temple presidency, and in it, he told all of us that he had been diagnosed with Stage 4 kidney cancer, and while he has begun the process of fighting the cancer, the drugs have left him exhausted, and he had asked to be released as one of the presidency members.

I feel very close to Sister Middleton, and I think she feels the same way towards me because she tells me things that she doesn't share with anyone else.  I don't know what about me inspires trust in her, but I'm thankful for the friendship we have.  Soon after she and President were called into the temple presidency, she shared with me that she has never served in a presidency in the church before.  She's in her 60s.  She also has shared with me her experience in becoming deaf.  Twenty or so years ago, she found out that she was losing her hearing, and she was told to prepare to become deaf, so she began learning sign language.  She had been told that it would be several years off.  However, one morning she woke up, and her hearing was completely gone.  She had no way to communicate with her own husband except for writing things down, and it took her almost ten years to get her cochlear implants.  Even now, she only hears 36 waves of sound in the 130+ waves healthy ears hear.  I was overwhelmed hearing this story while working in the office, and I was amazed that the other women in the office who have worked with her for years had never bothered to ask her about it all.  And then just months ago, we were talking in the hall, and she shared with me that her daughter-in-law wasn't going to allow her and President to go to the temple with their twin grandsons because President Middleton hadn't said "goodbye" to the daughter-in-law once when leaving.  We shared tears about that, and I just hugged her.

Like I said, I feel very close to her.  She's an honest, no frills, real soul who has had to overcome a whole lot of crap in her life.  I mean, I feel terrible that I haven't been asked to serve in a presidency in well over a decade, but at least I can look back on a time when I had a good run as Primary president.  And my health problems are nothing compared to losing my hearing.  And thankfully, Rebecca seems pretty good with keeping me involved in the grand babies lives.  I mean honestly, what right do I have to complain about anything?

And President Middleton.  He's this tall, strong-looking man.  I would never guess that cancer would come for him.

So as I saw these two dear people sitting on the pew, I couldn't help but go over to talk to them.  They were sitting down because after two hours of helping around the temple, President Middleton was exhausted.  There was another office worker who walked in with me, and my heart hurt as she just kept talking about herself, or, knowing what was happening to President Middleton, just kept talking about her own experiences with cancer.  I just waited.  When she finally left, I got down to the nitty gritty.  

What is happening?

What are they feeling?

How are they doing?

President Middleton didn't beat around the bush: they are preparing for him to die.  The medication he is on right now will supposedly slow the cancer, but as he put it, "it's no way to live" being so exhausted.  They have sold their home and have moved into a condo that is near their son so that Sister Middleton won't be alone.

Even now as I type this story, I am brought to tears.  All of the times I curse God for not being there for me, but there are the Middletons, full of hope and faith and strength.

But through it all, President Middleton told me that even with all that is going on, and with such an unknown future, he said, "This is where I want to be."

What powerful words, and as I thought back on my life, I'm thankful that I have also carried that mantra.

When I feel alone, the temple is where I want to be to feel God's love.

When my children are leaving on missions, the temple is where I want us to be together before we are separated.

When John was going through the hardest trial of our life, we couldn't sign up for enough shifts because the temple was where we wanted to be.

I think of Brother Cyrus Webber who was a previous Detroit temple president.  Before COVID, he was at the temple every Saturday by himself (his wife had died a few years earlier), working the entire day as a patron.  Even though it's not allowed, he would bring stacks of names for us to distribute, and the current temple presidency turned a blind eye to it all because he is so beloved.  However, our current president had to talk to Brother Webber when Brother Webber expressed his desire to die in the temple.  President Jones told him that it would NOT be cool for that to happen, and that he was not allowed to do that ;-)  But at the same time, I understand.  The temple is the bridge between the telestial world and the celestial kingdom, and how cool it would be for our spirit to already be in the terrestrial world when one dies!

Man, I love the temple.  I love the people who are my dear friends there.  I remember when I was set apart by President Lund, and he told John and me that the temple family is like no other.  It's so true! When I see members of my temple family outside of the temple, or even when I see friends from other shifts on my shift, there is an outpouring of love between us that I don't feel elsewhere.

I've joked with the temple presidency when they question me working yet another shift that I would LIVE in the temple if I could.  It's already got a kitchen, and a shower, and I could make do with the couches for a bed.  But really, there's no better place to be.  And when President Middleton moves onto the next journey of his immortal life, he will be able to look back and remember the beautiful times with his family and friends in the temple of God and be thankful that he made it the place where he wanted to be.