31

31 years.  I do believe I start every anniversary post with the number of years.  I can't help it. I don't think I've done anything for 31 straight years except living and breathing.  That is a really long time.  I think both John and I stand in awe of that number because to be honest, we don't feel much older than our late 30s, but as we all know, getting married at age 9 is not legal in the United States.

We had a trip to Grand Cayman booked months ago, but as October neared (the month when John has his conference) and COVID wasn't abating, it became obvious that our annual celebration wasn't going to happen.  No worries though--John and I have committed to being grateful for a job this year and have been committed to putting away serious money in retirement.  So, in the days preceding November 11, he was busy pulling call in PA again which, as trying as it is for him emotionally and physically, pays off in so many good ways.

But the morning of November 11, I picked him up from the airport.  I had a list of places that were offering free food that day for veterans, and we were hitting the ground running!

Before I delve into our "tour of Italy" as John called it, I have to get emotional for a paragraph.  I relish my alone time, and John knows that.  I get a lot done that I can't get done otherwise, and it helps me settle my mind.  And keeping up with John and his brain can be exhausting!  He's always asking what we're doing next and where we're going when sometimes I just want to sit and eat a muffin and read a magazine at the table ;-). But being alone with my thoughts for the previous six days, and dwelling on my hair loss, and coming down with a raging sinus infection, I felt like a big ball of mush when I saw him.  There is a strength to John that I need at critical times, and this was one of those.  He can't take away my suffering (it appears nobody can at this point), but he can reassure me that he still loves me, hair or no hair, and with his busyness, he can easily distract me from my sadness.   I'm so thankful for him.

The only breakfast place we could find (besides a free doughnut at Dunkin') was Bob Evans.  I kinda love Bob Evans because they have some of the best gravy and biscuits I've had.  John loves Bob Evans because they have free refills on hot chocolate! We drove a few minutes into the heart of Dearborn (which is a beautiful town, by the way), and John chose french toast off the veterans' menu.  There was something wonderfully soothing about sitting across from John, seeing his face and eating some comfort food. And watching him down mug after mug of hot chocolate!

While John was in PA, he stumbled upon an Eddie Bauer outlet.  There, he found a $400 coat for $70 which as we all know is too much of a deal for John to pass up.  Usually these kinds of deals  are deals for a reason, and what he buys is something I end up donating as soon as I can get him to forget about it, but he did well this time!  I mean really, finding a cool bronze Eddie Bauer down parka with a fur hood in a Tall Large??  Yeah, that coat is a keeper.  Of course, I told him that he could now get rid of the black Eddie Bauer coat he's been wearing so long that he couldn't remember what coat he wore before it, and he gave me a firm no.  "It's still a good coat, Aris," so I told him we could put it down in the basement cedar closet where all coats go to die....or are pulled out when one of the kids shows up without a coat ;-)

It was my day to wash and treat my hair, and that process takes about two hours, so we came home, I started it all, and we headed out exercising.  I can't tell you how good it felt to be outside again when I spent the majority of the time John was gone inside sick.  He took Cherry for a five mile run (yeah, she's obviously been missing our walks as well 'cause usually she's done after three), and we met up afterwards.  His luggage had been lost, but was delivered a couple of hours later (hallelujah living close to an airport now!), and he pulled out a new pair of slippers that he had bought at Eddie Bauer for me.  I LOVE SLIPPERS, and after 31 years, he's realized that a pair of slippers is going to speak to my heart far more than an expensive piece of jewelry.  I wore them whenever we were home yesterday, and they are wonderfully warm!

We then sat down on the couch and made a plan.  In fact, I told John that there might be non-food offers for veterans, so he should have a look online.  He could hardly believe it when he found a FREE OIL CHANGE at Meineke (and yes, I put that in all caps, because he might have actually yelled that out when he saw it!)  He made an appointment in Ann Arbor for 2:30.  I asked him if we should take two cars, but he said it should only take 30 minutes.  Right....

So we booked it down to Ann Arbor.  We were going to stop by Honeybaked Ham for a free sandwich, but time was a ticking.  So we were thinking we would go to Applebee's down by Texas Roadhouse (where we needed to pick up a voucher between 11 a.m. and 2 p.m. for a free meal), but we happened to see Chili's! We love Chili's, but there is never one near where we live.  We saw it, both turned to each other, and said, "Let's go to Chili's!"

Man, Chili's never disappoints.  They had a whole section reserved for veterans, so while other people were waiting in line, we were seated immediately.  John couldn't choose which of the food off the veterans' menu he wanted, but he finally settled on chicken pasta.  I LOVE the Ranchero Tacos at Chili's, and when they came, I was so happy.  They are just so good!  The service was a bit slow, but it gave us lots of time to do more talking, and unbelievably, we had a civil conversation about our differences in feelings about politics.  We are getting better about being good listeners and being more understanding when it comes to those differences, and I was glad to hear how he feels about the whole Trump/Biden election of 2020.  And the serendipity of the bag that held my utensils wasn't lost on me....but I'm glad that we don't part when the check comes ;-)

We booked it over to Texas Roadhouse, and even though we showed up a little after 2:00, they were happy to give John his voucher.  John wanted to get his free 6 oz. of frozen yogurt from Menchies which was next door, but we didn't have time and I took it off the list.  

We then raced over to Meineke for the oil change.  I had big plans that John didn't know about (and unfortunately he didn't come prepared with his coat).  He had decided when we left the house that he would get the oil changed in the Honda S2000 (or as the mechanic called it, the Honda S2K) because it's almost impossible to get on the jacks (and Steelheart is easy to get under), so we drove it on tour.  We dropped off the car, and I suggested we walk down to Baskin Robbins.  After all, I hadn't gotten in my five daily miles for the Beaver Moon challenge I'm doing with Hannah and Meg, and it was going to be part of our plans anyway that day.  So of course John was down for it, and we were off.  

I've been going to this Baskin Robbins since I was dating and could drive.  It's in the same loser strip mall it's always been, but it's one of the better stores I've visited.  If nothing else, it always has 31 flavors (not all do anymore), and if you get two scoops, you get a free waffle cone!  So, 0.7 miles later, we walked in.  I got my favorite combination, pralines & cream and chocolate fudge, and John surprisingly got one scoop of lemon custard.  Because we're such speedy walkers, we knew the oil change wouldn't be done, so we hid over in a corner under the signs that said "take out only" ;-). I'm sorry--it was 42 degrees, overcast, we were eating ice cream, and John had no coat.  WE'RE STAYING IN THE STORE!  I knew it wasn't a problem though when there were no customers, and the owner took his mask off behind the counter....

And at this point in my narrative, I'm going to copy what I wrote on Facebook in honor of this day:

When John and I were first married and were poor as church mice, I saw date night as going out for a scoop of ice cream at Baskin Robbins. John, however, couldn’t understand why we would spend the money on a SCOOP when we could get a half gallon of ice cream for the same price. Thankfully, through the years, John came to see that the experience of going out for ice cream meant more to me than the ice cream itself. And he has translated this into so many other facets of our lives—music lessons for the kids, scuba diving, going to a concert, or watching a Tigers game live versus on TV. He has let me choose to make our lives full of rich and wonderful experiences that are more than what they appear on the surface. So on this, our 31st anniversary, I want him to know that it’s been thirty one-derful years of flavors and sweetness. You mean everything to me. I love you, babe. Happy Baskin-Robbins anniversary.

I think I've been waiting to write that post for several years now. It was just too perfect to pass up, and while I can't say everyday that John means everything to me (he sometimes drives me up the wall), on that particular day in that particular circumstance, I couldn't have meant it more. Knowing that he would be up for walking to Baskin Robbins in the cold and getting ice cream with me, something he might not have done 31 years ago, that's love.  

And then I got this message from a dear friend from BYU. Ruth and I were serious study partners for the first four theory classes of our music major. We would meet most days to practice aural skills and dictation, and she was my closest friend when I was a student:

Wow!! 31 years!! Happy Anniversary to y'all!! I want to thank you for your wonderful example. I don't think I ever told you how much your friendship meant to me while at BYU. You and John were/are great examples of happiness together. I still remember you laughing at my mistakes and helping with a difficult passage I was missing. You would sing the passage the correct way then say something about "my beautiful singing voice". It was a beautiful singing voice because you were helping me be better. Thank you!! I hope all is well with you and your beautiful family. Know that y'all touched my life for good and I will always be grateful to you for that!!

Sweet, huh? I guess sometimes I see my marriage as far less than perfect, but aren't we always our worst critic?

We then walked back to Meineke, but we discovered that the car hadn't even been taken in yet. John said he wished that he could be mad, but the feelings of gratitude to Meineke for taking the burden of changing the oil off of John were greater than the feelings of impatience. And it was sweet to see a octogenarian veteran in there as well waiting. So, I saw Walgreens across the parking lot and we headed there. We used the restrooms and sat down on the chairs for people waiting for prescriptions. We checked our emails and just waited. Of course we ended up walking out with some stocking stuffers. We got back and the car was done. We squeezed our aging bodies into it (seriously, it's getting pretty hard to get out of the car for both of us), and we were off!

We went back to Honeybaked Ham to get a free sandwich and drink. John saved it though for today, because we still had dinner in our sights!

I had some errands to run, and goodness knows we couldn't fit more in our bellies for a while, so we ran to Office Depot to pick up some music I had bound (looking at you googly-eyed man-boy), and John ran into Game Stop for some Christmas shopping. Unbelievably, in that same strip mall was MENCHIES! Yeah, John paid $1.00 for seven ounces ;-)

    

I then wanted to go to Target for Christmas wrapping paper, AND THAT WAS ALL I WAS GOING TO BUY.  I didn't take a cart BECAUSE THAT WAS ALL I WAS GOING TO BUY.  Yeah, THAT WASN'T ALL I BOUGHT.  In fact, by the end, John and I both had our arms full, and he asked me, "Why don't we just get a cart?"  I looked at him fiercely.  We walked out with even more ornaments for Hannah's Christmas tree EVEN THOUGH I TOLD MYSELF I WASN'T GOING TO BUY ANYMORE FOR IT.  Yeah, the Target Magic.  

We were then going to head to Applebee's for dinner, but I saw a restaurant called "Twin Peaks" in the same parking lot.  I mentioned that I had seen something for Veteran's Day on the list at Twin Peaks, but I didn't know what.  John said (and these words would soon haunt him), "It looks fun!  Let's try something new!"

Does anyone out there know what kind of restaurant Twin Peaks is?  I was caught off-guard as we walked in, and our hostess had her bosoms bursting out of her flannel shirt and practically laying on the reservation desk.  And when she stepped out from behind the desk, she had on children's-sized shorts....or at least that's what they looked like judging by the amount of booty showing.  Yep, John had brought us into the mountain man's version of Hooters.  Taxidermied deer heads on the log cabin walls, TVs with sports hanging from the ceilings, and scantily-clad (albeit GORGEOUS women) everywhere.  I looked around as we were seated next to the fire (it was heaven), and there were at least 50 men in that cavernous restaurant...and two women seated.  As I said to John, it was Satan's lair, or if nothing else, a modern-day Pleasure Island.  Everything a "man" could want.  I asked John if we should leave, and he said no.  Hmmmm....

And to top it off (this is the kicker)?  The food was some of the best food we've ever had at a restaurant.  John alone has never had trout like he had last night, and I was devouring the broccoli and mashed potatoes on his plate.  And the chicken tenders that I ordered off the veterans menu?  They were made-from-scratch, and the fries were better than McDonald's.  We had THE most darling waitress (although I had to keep reminding myself to look at her face), and we told her how great the food was.  Well then the manager came out, welcomed us, gave us each coupons for free chips and queso on our next visit, and told us that Mondays are "military Mondays" and the veteran can get FIFTY PERCENT OFF HIS MEAL.  John looked at me and said, "We are coming back, but we are NOT bringing the kids!"  Yeah, get it now?  Twin Peaks?  #goodness #eyeroll

(I had to carefully plan my picture so that I didn't catch anything obscene in the background.  All I gotta say is that I've heard waitresses at those joints make BANK so good on them.  They were some of the nicest women I've ever met in a restaurant.)

We didn't really want to stay out any longer, but 10 free boneless wings from Buffalo Wild Wings was calling to us.  So we placed our order, waited in the car, and brought those with us as well!

We then drove home with our shopping loot and a trunk full of leftovers (granted, it's the Honda so it's not a huge trunk).  We were both happy to sit down on the couch and start watching all the shows that had recorded while John was gone, but that I hadn't watched.  And what a good man he is, starting off with The Bachelorette.  Again, that's true love.