Have you ever heard someone use the phrase "Praise Jesus"? There are variations on it: "Praise God", "Halle-LU-jah", "God is good" and "A-men" with the accent on the "A".
I can remember when I used to help my grandparents deliver Meals-on-Wheels, meals prepared by a company that helps low-income and sickly people. We delivered mostly to low-income, elderly black people in the downtown area of Tallahassee. My grandparents were so good to those people, always stopping for a minute to chat, or to show pictures of their grandchildren despite the abject living conditions that surrounded them. It was hard as a child to see anything past the poverty and the smell and the poor health of the people, but my grandparents never treated the people poorly because of any of it. I remember that often, when my grandparents handed over the prepackaged boxes of food, the elderly individual would take the box so humbly and say to my grandparents, "God bless you." It was almost as if they thought my grandparents had actually spent the time and money preparing the food and boxing it up themselves when really my grandparents just picked it up from an office and followed a map to the different homes.
Last year, John, Glo and I attended church on Grand Cayman Island. Despite it being much like all the other LDS churches we have attended around the world, the population of members was rather different from what we were used to seeing. In fact, when someone at the pulpit would declare some gospel truth, I could hear "Praise Jesus", or "Praise God" coming from the congregation. I found it more funny than anything.
Starting in November, Ethan began looking for a new Graduate Student Instructor position at the University of Michigan. It's a coveted job among the graduate students because not only does it provide a substantial monthly salary for teaching a few classes and grading a few papers, it also covers the complete cost of tuition for the semester. In Ethan's case (and in any other out-of-state student's case), this comes out to $21,000 per semester.
Ethan received his first GSI appointment last May when he, Rebecca and I were visiting Ann Arbor, looking for housing for them. Just at the moment when Ethan felt like he had made the wrong choice in choosing Michigan (the only school that didn't offer him a scholarship), he received an email that his application had been reviewed by a professor and that he was chosen to help teach the class. It was HUGE.
Moving into the winter semester, we all kind of assumed that it wouldn't be near so difficult, nor so random for Ethan to find another one (the class he taught in the Fall wasn't being offered in the Winter). In fact, his professor at the time told Ethan that of course he would find one.
I don't even know how many applications Ethan filled out. I do know, however, that with every application, his hopes as well as ours went up. We assumed that each one would be the one. By the time he came home over Christmas break, he still didn't have a position.
It's a strange thing, how these positions are given out. For each application, the applicant must write a cover letter, explaining why they want the position. We are quickly learning that each professor is looking for different things, but unfortunately, the applicant doesn't know what those things are....unless they get the position and the professor tells them afterwards.
Last semester, Ethan was chosen to help teach a GE class about German fairy tales. From my perspective, it was a great experience. He had a good professor, he taught three different discussion sections, and only had to grade a few essays. Kids came up at the end of the semester and told him that he was the best GSI they had had. It was a perfect fit for Ethan, and that was why his professor picked him in the beginning.
With Winter coming, Ethan assumed he would be a good fit for many of the positions offered. I especially was excited for him to hopefully teach a German-speaking class. He had already met the head of the German department, and he seemed like a shoe-in.
That appointment came and went with no success.
In my mind, I was thinking that it was okay for Ethan to go into debt. After all, most people go into debt when they enter graduate school. He had already avoided the $21,000 of tuition for the first semester. Plus, many of the jobs he's considering upon graduation offer debt forgiveness. It seemed like it would be okay.
Ethan, however, didn't give up. Both he and Rebecca had felt in the Fall that something would work out. That he would indeed get another GSI position.
And I do believe that their blind faith, and their belief in feelings they had had, are what saved them.
The first Sunday in January was fast Sunday, and everybody was home. Ethan asked us if we would fast for him to get a GSI position. After all, school was starting in just three days, and so far he didn't even have a bite.
For me, the fast was a holy experience. I believed that if we all believed it could happen that it would. And in fact, I don't think any of us doubted in the possibility.
We began the fast with a family prayer Saturday night, and I asked to say it. I couldn't keep the tears back as I thought about how deserving Ethan and Rebecca were for this. They have sacrificed so much in the name of doing what the prophet and apostles have said is good: getting married, getting an education, having a family when young, staying out of debt. And as the prayer continued, I prayed for the same type of blessings on all of my children. As I look at their lives, I am amazed at how much they give to the Lord in how they choose to live. None of them deserved to be denied any blessings.
The next day, the kids ended the fast after two meals, but I felt the need to fast for the full 24 hours. In my mind (and this is a very personal decision, and I make no judgement on anyone who didn't or doesn't do this), I felt that if I expected a miracle from the Lord, I needed to give him everything. I didn't want to look back at the fast and think that maybe I could have done a little bit more. I left it all on the table.
Even though there was nothing much in the works, we all still believed that it could happen.
Wednesday morning dawned, and Ethan headed off to school with Mark for the first day of classes. In his Inbox was a bill for $21,000 for tuition. As he later told me, he felt so despondent, knowing that he would be going into debt.
And then, in the hour that Mark had class and Ethan didn't, Ethan checked his email and saw an offer for a GSI in SAC 375: Television: Theory and Criticism. As far as he could tell, it was a first-come, first serve position, and he responded immediately.
He was told by the person in charge in a return email that he had the job.
Praise Jesus.
I know that might sound trite, and it certainly isn't in the LDS vernacular, but I couldn't think of any other phrase that expressed my relief and gratitude to my Heavenly Father. We had been stressed about this for months, and our hopes had been dashed so many times. All I could think was that this was a gift, handed directly to Ethan and Rebecca, in return for their blind, never-doubting faith.
Too, it felt like a gift to all of us for coming together and combining our faith to show our Heavenly Father how important this was to all of us. It was a beautiful lesson in faith, in fasting, and in believing despite feeling that all hope is lost.
Throughout that day, all I could think was to praise God, and I did. No words of thanks seemed adequate, considering he has already given us our lives and everything in them. This was just one more thing for which we can never repay him.
As it turns out, Ethan found out today that it wasn't actually a race to respond to the email to get the position, but the professor hand-picked Ethan because he mentioned his familiarity with critical thinking in his cover letter. Yep, one thing he had thought to mention.
God is indeed good.
I can remember when I used to help my grandparents deliver Meals-on-Wheels, meals prepared by a company that helps low-income and sickly people. We delivered mostly to low-income, elderly black people in the downtown area of Tallahassee. My grandparents were so good to those people, always stopping for a minute to chat, or to show pictures of their grandchildren despite the abject living conditions that surrounded them. It was hard as a child to see anything past the poverty and the smell and the poor health of the people, but my grandparents never treated the people poorly because of any of it. I remember that often, when my grandparents handed over the prepackaged boxes of food, the elderly individual would take the box so humbly and say to my grandparents, "God bless you." It was almost as if they thought my grandparents had actually spent the time and money preparing the food and boxing it up themselves when really my grandparents just picked it up from an office and followed a map to the different homes.
Last year, John, Glo and I attended church on Grand Cayman Island. Despite it being much like all the other LDS churches we have attended around the world, the population of members was rather different from what we were used to seeing. In fact, when someone at the pulpit would declare some gospel truth, I could hear "Praise Jesus", or "Praise God" coming from the congregation. I found it more funny than anything.
Starting in November, Ethan began looking for a new Graduate Student Instructor position at the University of Michigan. It's a coveted job among the graduate students because not only does it provide a substantial monthly salary for teaching a few classes and grading a few papers, it also covers the complete cost of tuition for the semester. In Ethan's case (and in any other out-of-state student's case), this comes out to $21,000 per semester.
Ethan received his first GSI appointment last May when he, Rebecca and I were visiting Ann Arbor, looking for housing for them. Just at the moment when Ethan felt like he had made the wrong choice in choosing Michigan (the only school that didn't offer him a scholarship), he received an email that his application had been reviewed by a professor and that he was chosen to help teach the class. It was HUGE.
Moving into the winter semester, we all kind of assumed that it wouldn't be near so difficult, nor so random for Ethan to find another one (the class he taught in the Fall wasn't being offered in the Winter). In fact, his professor at the time told Ethan that of course he would find one.
I don't even know how many applications Ethan filled out. I do know, however, that with every application, his hopes as well as ours went up. We assumed that each one would be the one. By the time he came home over Christmas break, he still didn't have a position.
It's a strange thing, how these positions are given out. For each application, the applicant must write a cover letter, explaining why they want the position. We are quickly learning that each professor is looking for different things, but unfortunately, the applicant doesn't know what those things are....unless they get the position and the professor tells them afterwards.
Last semester, Ethan was chosen to help teach a GE class about German fairy tales. From my perspective, it was a great experience. He had a good professor, he taught three different discussion sections, and only had to grade a few essays. Kids came up at the end of the semester and told him that he was the best GSI they had had. It was a perfect fit for Ethan, and that was why his professor picked him in the beginning.
With Winter coming, Ethan assumed he would be a good fit for many of the positions offered. I especially was excited for him to hopefully teach a German-speaking class. He had already met the head of the German department, and he seemed like a shoe-in.
That appointment came and went with no success.
In my mind, I was thinking that it was okay for Ethan to go into debt. After all, most people go into debt when they enter graduate school. He had already avoided the $21,000 of tuition for the first semester. Plus, many of the jobs he's considering upon graduation offer debt forgiveness. It seemed like it would be okay.
Ethan, however, didn't give up. Both he and Rebecca had felt in the Fall that something would work out. That he would indeed get another GSI position.
And I do believe that their blind faith, and their belief in feelings they had had, are what saved them.
The first Sunday in January was fast Sunday, and everybody was home. Ethan asked us if we would fast for him to get a GSI position. After all, school was starting in just three days, and so far he didn't even have a bite.
For me, the fast was a holy experience. I believed that if we all believed it could happen that it would. And in fact, I don't think any of us doubted in the possibility.
We began the fast with a family prayer Saturday night, and I asked to say it. I couldn't keep the tears back as I thought about how deserving Ethan and Rebecca were for this. They have sacrificed so much in the name of doing what the prophet and apostles have said is good: getting married, getting an education, having a family when young, staying out of debt. And as the prayer continued, I prayed for the same type of blessings on all of my children. As I look at their lives, I am amazed at how much they give to the Lord in how they choose to live. None of them deserved to be denied any blessings.
The next day, the kids ended the fast after two meals, but I felt the need to fast for the full 24 hours. In my mind (and this is a very personal decision, and I make no judgement on anyone who didn't or doesn't do this), I felt that if I expected a miracle from the Lord, I needed to give him everything. I didn't want to look back at the fast and think that maybe I could have done a little bit more. I left it all on the table.
Even though there was nothing much in the works, we all still believed that it could happen.
Wednesday morning dawned, and Ethan headed off to school with Mark for the first day of classes. In his Inbox was a bill for $21,000 for tuition. As he later told me, he felt so despondent, knowing that he would be going into debt.
And then, in the hour that Mark had class and Ethan didn't, Ethan checked his email and saw an offer for a GSI in SAC 375: Television: Theory and Criticism. As far as he could tell, it was a first-come, first serve position, and he responded immediately.
He was told by the person in charge in a return email that he had the job.
Praise Jesus.
I know that might sound trite, and it certainly isn't in the LDS vernacular, but I couldn't think of any other phrase that expressed my relief and gratitude to my Heavenly Father. We had been stressed about this for months, and our hopes had been dashed so many times. All I could think was that this was a gift, handed directly to Ethan and Rebecca, in return for their blind, never-doubting faith.
Too, it felt like a gift to all of us for coming together and combining our faith to show our Heavenly Father how important this was to all of us. It was a beautiful lesson in faith, in fasting, and in believing despite feeling that all hope is lost.
Throughout that day, all I could think was to praise God, and I did. No words of thanks seemed adequate, considering he has already given us our lives and everything in them. This was just one more thing for which we can never repay him.
As it turns out, Ethan found out today that it wasn't actually a race to respond to the email to get the position, but the professor hand-picked Ethan because he mentioned his familiarity with critical thinking in his cover letter. Yep, one thing he had thought to mention.
God is indeed good.
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