I'm thankful for times in my life when I'm given a second chance to reevaluate something that I initially found distasteful.
Last week, Glo's violin teacher, Amy Oshiro, texted me that there were comp tickets available, and would the family and I be interested in attending a performance of the Philadelphia Orchestra?
Absolutely! I didn't hesitate to respond so that we didn't lose this amazing opportunity.
Afterwards, I headed to the computer to see what music would be on the program. I knew it would be something good.
My heart nearly sank when I saw one and only one selection on the program: Symphony No. 5 by Dmitri Shostakovich.
Really? Did the musical fates have it in for me? Of all the music, through all the ages, Shosty 5 was the selection?
I digress for a moment. In my teenage years, I did my best to expose myself to as much diverse classical music as I could. Not having YouTube, or iPods, or anything similar, when I wanted new music, I headed to the used record store in downtown Ann Arbor (yes, a record store, where those big vinyl discs are sold, and can be played on a record player). At the time, I was preparing the second piano concerto by Dmitri Shostakovich for a competition. I figured that a symphony by him would be a good thing with which to acquaint myself. I thumbed through the record covers and found Symphony No. 5, plunked down a couple of dollars, and headed home.
This time in my life was a very dark time. Probably the darkest of all my years. Things at home were really bad, and I'm not sure that I ever rose out of my constant depression. I could put on a perfect face in public, but I cry now for what I had to endure then. My poor teenage self.
Well, if you know anything about Shostakovich, you know that he was composing during a very dark time in Soviet Russia. Stalin was the leader of the country at the time, and several of Shostakovich's family members had been arrested and killed. There was so much riding on every piece of music that Shostakovich premiered, including the lives of his remaining friends and family. The music of the world reflected a freedom from rules, but under communist rule, Shostakovich walked a fine line between exhibiting that freedom and living under oppression.
If I could have chosen a soundtrack for my life at the time, Shostakovich 5 would have been a fine choice. The extreme dissonance certainly reflected the uneasiness in everything around me, as did the sadness in the Largo movement. Crazily enough, I know every note of that entire symphony--I listened to it constantly, possibly as an outlet for my angst.
I'll never forget when Mark discovered Shostakovich 5. It happens to have one of the toughest low horn parts in any piece of music along with some of the most well-known horn solos. He could offer nothing but praise for the piece and a hope that he would someday be able to play it.
My heart turned. I didn't want to hear one note from it. Like a light switch, when I hear it, all those past feelings return as if they are something real and current (even though my life now couldn't be further from that time then).
Well, not being one to turn down free tickets to the Philly Orchestra, and knowing that the girls need to acquaint themselves with the piece, I downloaded it onto my iPod and plugged it in to the stereo here at home. Even now, as I think of the opening notes, I need to take a deep breath. The visceral reaction is so severe, that I am taken back to the bedroom of my youth, and I can see myself, cowering in a corner, in the dark, weeping.
We listened to it once, and I couldn't listen to it again. It was just playing in the background while we did chores around the house, for goodness sake, but it didn't matter. Then, while driving to Philly, I plugged it in again. It's amazing how I could sing the entire 40 minutes of music in my mind, even though I haven't heard it for over 20 years.
Like I said at the beginning, I'm thankful for opportunities to wipe away the bad and fill in that space with good.
First off, there's nothing more meaningful than watching a performance where the concertgoer knows someone in the orchestra. The best moment came when the orchestra was warming up, and Amy, the Assistant Concertmaster of the orchestra, looked out into the audience, found us, and WAVED! Oh my gosh, we were beaming from ear to ear. Angela, Mark's teacher, was there too (I haven't seen her a couple of years) along with her husband.
As I listened to the music all over again (played by some of the most talented performers in the nation), I imagined the angst of Shostakovich at the time. However, I also knew that he came out the victor in the end. Stalin was killed, and Shostakovich continued to compose. In fact, there are live recordings of him playing the piano. I began to think that instead of thinking of Shosty 5 as a soundtrack to my life, I should think of it as an anthem for my life. His music, his ideas, his brilliance lives on today, while what lives on of Stalin? He is remembered as a tyrant, and his name is not mentioned without horror and loathing.
I hope that my life reflects a victory over what was so destructive at the time. I didn't become a victim to what happened to me, but instead I have endured and have offered hope to my children. In my mind, those people and those situations that were so destructive have become a small memory in the landscape of my life.
In my opinion, the fourth (and last movement) of the symphony speaks volumes about conquering evil. Here's an amazing performance of it by Leonard Bernstein and the New York Philharmonic Orchestra (you'll see why this is one piece that both brass and string players can agree on!). Watch until 3:53 at least so that you can hear one of those famous horn solos:
Last week, Glo's violin teacher, Amy Oshiro, texted me that there were comp tickets available, and would the family and I be interested in attending a performance of the Philadelphia Orchestra?
Absolutely! I didn't hesitate to respond so that we didn't lose this amazing opportunity.
 |
| This is a photo of the orchestra, taken in February. You just don't know how star struck we all are, knowing several people in this orchestra! |
Afterwards, I headed to the computer to see what music would be on the program. I knew it would be something good.
My heart nearly sank when I saw one and only one selection on the program: Symphony No. 5 by Dmitri Shostakovich.
Really? Did the musical fates have it in for me? Of all the music, through all the ages, Shosty 5 was the selection?
I digress for a moment. In my teenage years, I did my best to expose myself to as much diverse classical music as I could. Not having YouTube, or iPods, or anything similar, when I wanted new music, I headed to the used record store in downtown Ann Arbor (yes, a record store, where those big vinyl discs are sold, and can be played on a record player). At the time, I was preparing the second piano concerto by Dmitri Shostakovich for a competition. I figured that a symphony by him would be a good thing with which to acquaint myself. I thumbed through the record covers and found Symphony No. 5, plunked down a couple of dollars, and headed home.
This time in my life was a very dark time. Probably the darkest of all my years. Things at home were really bad, and I'm not sure that I ever rose out of my constant depression. I could put on a perfect face in public, but I cry now for what I had to endure then. My poor teenage self.
Well, if you know anything about Shostakovich, you know that he was composing during a very dark time in Soviet Russia. Stalin was the leader of the country at the time, and several of Shostakovich's family members had been arrested and killed. There was so much riding on every piece of music that Shostakovich premiered, including the lives of his remaining friends and family. The music of the world reflected a freedom from rules, but under communist rule, Shostakovich walked a fine line between exhibiting that freedom and living under oppression.
If I could have chosen a soundtrack for my life at the time, Shostakovich 5 would have been a fine choice. The extreme dissonance certainly reflected the uneasiness in everything around me, as did the sadness in the Largo movement. Crazily enough, I know every note of that entire symphony--I listened to it constantly, possibly as an outlet for my angst.
I'll never forget when Mark discovered Shostakovich 5. It happens to have one of the toughest low horn parts in any piece of music along with some of the most well-known horn solos. He could offer nothing but praise for the piece and a hope that he would someday be able to play it.
My heart turned. I didn't want to hear one note from it. Like a light switch, when I hear it, all those past feelings return as if they are something real and current (even though my life now couldn't be further from that time then).
Well, not being one to turn down free tickets to the Philly Orchestra, and knowing that the girls need to acquaint themselves with the piece, I downloaded it onto my iPod and plugged it in to the stereo here at home. Even now, as I think of the opening notes, I need to take a deep breath. The visceral reaction is so severe, that I am taken back to the bedroom of my youth, and I can see myself, cowering in a corner, in the dark, weeping.
We listened to it once, and I couldn't listen to it again. It was just playing in the background while we did chores around the house, for goodness sake, but it didn't matter. Then, while driving to Philly, I plugged it in again. It's amazing how I could sing the entire 40 minutes of music in my mind, even though I haven't heard it for over 20 years.
Like I said at the beginning, I'm thankful for opportunities to wipe away the bad and fill in that space with good.
First off, there's nothing more meaningful than watching a performance where the concertgoer knows someone in the orchestra. The best moment came when the orchestra was warming up, and Amy, the Assistant Concertmaster of the orchestra, looked out into the audience, found us, and WAVED! Oh my gosh, we were beaming from ear to ear. Angela, Mark's teacher, was there too (I haven't seen her a couple of years) along with her husband.
As I listened to the music all over again (played by some of the most talented performers in the nation), I imagined the angst of Shostakovich at the time. However, I also knew that he came out the victor in the end. Stalin was killed, and Shostakovich continued to compose. In fact, there are live recordings of him playing the piano. I began to think that instead of thinking of Shosty 5 as a soundtrack to my life, I should think of it as an anthem for my life. His music, his ideas, his brilliance lives on today, while what lives on of Stalin? He is remembered as a tyrant, and his name is not mentioned without horror and loathing.
I hope that my life reflects a victory over what was so destructive at the time. I didn't become a victim to what happened to me, but instead I have endured and have offered hope to my children. In my mind, those people and those situations that were so destructive have become a small memory in the landscape of my life.
In my opinion, the fourth (and last movement) of the symphony speaks volumes about conquering evil. Here's an amazing performance of it by Leonard Bernstein and the New York Philharmonic Orchestra (you'll see why this is one piece that both brass and string players can agree on!). Watch until 3:53 at least so that you can hear one of those famous horn solos:
Comments
Post a Comment