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Several years ago, I read a magazine article entitled "The Pitfalls of Parallel Marriage" (The Ensign, 2000).  I was intrigued by the title, wondering what the definition of a parallel marriage was.  Here is how the author of the article described it: A husband and wife describe their relationship as confusing and contradictory.  They don't fight and quarrel, don't criticize and demean, don't ignore one another.  They sincerely love each other and care about one another's welfare.  Yet they are bored and dissatisfied with the relationship.  They don't seem to have the fun they had in the early years of their marriage or when they were courting. This type of devitalized relationship has been labeled a "parallel marriage."  Just as parallel lines lie in the same plane but never touch, a husband and wife can live in the same house but without closeness.  They often sense proximity but seldom togetherness.  It is as though they are walking do...

Sometimes we get so enmeshed in our lives that we can't see how blessed we are.  It takes a moment of reflection--stepping outside of ourselves--to see what's really happening, and to appreciate what we have. This past week, a former conductor of the Philadelphia Orchestra, Wolfgang Sawallisch, died.  He had served as the conductor of the orchestra for 10 years.  Because he only retired in 2003, there are musicians who performed under his baton who still play with the orchestra. The crazy thing is that the husband of Mark's Philadelphia horn teacher is one of them.  David Bilger has been the principal trumpet of the Philadelphia Orchestra for several years, and he had beautiful, poignant memories of studying with Maestro Sawallisch.  Click here to read his words. I guess I could call this three degrees of separation--knowing David Bilger through Mark--but I feel as close to him and his musical experiences as I do to my own.  It sounds strange, ...

This post is written for Emily <3 We have a lot of animals in our home, although we do our best to make it so that people don't know that. You know those crazy animal people?  People who can talk about their animals ad nauseum ?  Those "love me, love my dog" kind of people?  We aren't those kind of people.  In my mind, crazy animal people are people who care more about animals than about people, and while animals need to be protected and defended (and become beloved family members), people (and especially family) should be more cherished than Fido.  I try to be sensitive to the fact that some people don't like animals, or don't want cat hair on their coats, or have allergies. I've probably just offended half the planet. In my mind, our animals are for our enjoyment, but when other people are around, they become second-class citizens.  I don't allow my cats to jump in people's laps when visitors come over.  I put my dogs away for parties,...

  *gasp*!  Someone else besides Mama is posting! I wanted to talk a little bit about friends.  This past weekend I had the chance to spend the weekend at a cabin that my rommmate's family owns.  Twelve of us drove down on Friday night, and after a two-hour detour (pretty much a circle :-)), we got to our destination 13 hours after we left Provo.  We spent Saturday and Sunday at the cabin, and then yesterday we drove back 11 hours to Provo.  It was completely and utterly worth it. Since being in Utah, I can honestly say that I have missed DC.  I have missed school mostly. While I perhaps wasn't as liberal as most of my peers (which is saying something), I LOVED learning and figuring out how things work in the world.  I felt extremely comfortable in classes, and loved my professors.  That hasn't been the case here in Utah. However, that has been balanced out by the friends that I have made.  The 24 hours of driving that we did thi...

Of course, I WISH I looked this good in mine! John has learned that the quickest way to my heart is by doing the things I need done, and by getting me things that make me feel comfortable. I know that sounds obvious, but I think for a lot of men it's a difficult thing to understand.  Shoot, don't we all, at some point, buy a gift for someone because it's something we would like to get? This year, John put all notions aside, and melted my heart. With pink, Valentine, Hoodie-Footie pajamas. I'm always cold, especially my feet.  Shoot, I wear a jacket when we go on cruises of the Caribbean.  It can never be warm enough for me.  At night, when we sit down to watch TV, I have layers of pajamas on, with as many blankets as possible covering me up.  He solved the problem. These are the BEST pajamas I have ever owned.  In fact, I feel like pitching my stacks of pajamas which I layer on each night, for a couple pairs of these.  They make my fami...

Nothing much was planned this year.  No big trips, no dinners out (although we did eat out a lot in the name of Valentine's Day).  However, someone else had a different idea about the day... Johannah woke up at her normal 5:45 a.m. to get ready for school.  Because she had signed up to deliver singing Valentines all day, and because the group was rehearsing before school, she had to skip seminary.  I just happened to be checking something on the computer before we rushed out the door, when I saw this out the office window: I learned from friends of mine that his is called being "Heart Attacked" :-)  The hearts actually came all the way up to the front door (blue and green ones were lined up there) where there was a gift waiting for her.  She was already dressed in her Valentine finest for the day, so we grabbed the camera.  After all, who knew if the snow was going to stick around, or if it would rain, or we would have gale-force winds on our h...

The other day, I was reading a magazine article about Mitt Romney, and in the article, a convocation address, given by Romney back in 1999, was reprinted.  I found his words to be inspiring, and I felt sadness that the public wasn't able to see this side of Mr. Romney when he ran for president.  I blame him directly for this loss, because I always felt he was playing to the crowd instead of remaining true to himself.  I post this excerpt for my children. For some reason my graduations have stood out quite clearly in my mind.  I remember where I sat, by whom, and what I heard.  Perhaps that's because of a song we regularly sang at my Michigan high school and its graduation.  As I sang that song at graduation, I pondered about the future, about time.  I wondered what it would be like to look back to this very day:  Would I regret my life?  Would I be satisfied? The song we sang is the Harrow School song, that of a private boys school in Eng...

I am an avid reader.  Like many of my friends, and all of my family, I love to read. When people ask me what I've read lately, I matter-of-factly tell them, "I can't remember--I haven't read a book in over a year." Wait....what? While I love reading, and I have a short list of my favorite books, I rarely do it.  Why? Because I can't find much that is worth reading.  Magazines?  I love them-- Time, National Geographic, Games .  But books?  Not so much. There is nothing worse in my mind (on the scale of not-really-important scales) than wasting my time, reading a mediocre book.  I hate it when it's a chore.  When I feel like I am slogging through it. My friend and visiting teacher encouraged me to read "The Host", a book by Stephanie Meyer (the author of the Twilight series), because the movie is coming out in March and she wants to go see it.  Having only read the first three pages of the first Twilight book (and having put it down...

Late winter begins bragging season, and it lasts through Interlochen.  It's the season of festivals and concerts for us, so let's begin! Johannah headed to her first choral PMEA (Pennsylvania Music Educators Association) Districts festival.  She attended the PMEA orchestra festival last year and didn't have a very good time, so we were hoping this would be better.  Uh, yeah, it definitely was. Following in her brothers' footsteps, she earned first chair for Alto 2.  Okay, her brothers obviously didn't sing alto, but Ethan took home first chair for Tenor 1 a couple of times, and Mark made it to States all three years he was eligible.  Needless to say, there was a lot of pressure on her to do well. She also continued the tradition of standing on the top row.  We could always find Mark and Ethan in choir concerts because they were placed on the back row because of their height.  It was no different with Johannah--her blonde-haired head can be s...