Skip to main content

Endurance

I had one of those "ah hah" moments today.  Something perhaps that I already knew but was reminded of.

Last week, when I went in for my follow-up appointment (aka the NIGHTMARE), I had a hard time making it through to the end because I didn't honestly know what was going to happen during the appointment and when faced with pain and suffering, I didn't know how long it would last.

Any of you who have run a marathon, or done something else incredibly hard, will know that half the battle with pain is a mental one.  Yes, your body hurts and yes, you are tired, but as long as you keep positive thoughts in your head, you feel that you can make it.  When I ran my marathons, it was a conversation in my mind of "just make it to the next mile marker", or "only six miles left to go" or "I'm already half-way done".  I knew what I had to endure and I felt like I could muster the strength to make it.  Going into labor is the same thing.  A certain amount of pain and suffering, but in the end it's all good :-)

Last week, at that appointment, I didn't have an understanding of what I would need to endure.  Nobody told me what my appointment would involve and once the procedure began, I had no idea how long it would last.  Not knowing the length of endurance was frightful to me.  I was in pain, and I couldn't see an end to it.  It scared me to death.

Today, I headed back for the same kind of appointment, but knowing what was going to happen changed everything.  I knew that if I could endure 2-3 minutes of pain, I would feel much better afterwards.  While having the same procedure done, I kept mental control over my emotions.  "Just a few more seconds and this will be over" went through my mind.  I knew the length of time it would take, and I endured the pain.  In fact, when the doctor checked my sinuses after the procedure and saw that he needed to go in again, I was okay with that.  The pain was probably worse today than it was last week, but I could see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Unfortunately, the trials we face in life don't have a time limit although wouldn't it be lovely if they did?  Wouldn't it be nice if Heavenly Father would say to us, "Don't worry--you won't have a job for two weeks, but after that, you'll be employed for the rest of your life," or "Yes, these supposed "friends" of yours are treating you poorly, but if you keep smiling, I'll send down my wrath on them, and you will feel much better", or "You will have six surgeries in five years, but if you endure it well, your family will be blessed for the next ten."  It would be nice to know that when we have a trial, it will end by a certain time.

Too bad that isn't how it works.

I find it scary when trials pop up, and I wonder how long they will last.  I find it even scarier when life is on cruise control for a time, and I wonder how long that will last before things fall apart again.  That's the test isn't it?

Endurance.

I guess that instead of looking for one specific trial to end, we need to look at the big picture.  This whole life is one big trial.  No, I'm not a pessimist--there are lots of good things mixed in, but really, there are so many things to overcome.  Can we stay happy, and optimistic, and can we trust in the Lord until this life is over?  That's the real test.

Comments

  1. It is very hard to go through the tough times but we have made it through a lot of them and we will continue to forge ahead through what comes in the future, a positive outlook and knowing they will eventually end are a big help!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

SURPRISE!!

When the pizza guy came to the door last night, here's what John saw: It took a few seconds for John to process who the pizza delivery man was, but when he did, he was incredibly happy (and couldn't stop saying "heeeeyyyyy....".  It was Jared Moran, John's best friend. And me, I just knelt down, right then and there, and began repenting of all the lies that I have told over the last four months, hiding this most amazing surprise :-)  I told Sarah the other day that I was glad to see the light at the end of the falsehood tunnel, because if I kept this up much longer, I was destined to end up in liars' hell... Jared ran the Air Force marathon with John last year.  It was his first marathon, and from what he told us, his last.  However, he called in June and said he was coming again, but I was supposed to keep it a surprise from John.  I'm not sure what changed his mind, but we sure are glad he did.  John hates runnings marathons alone, and ther...

Getting Hannie Home

Knowing that Hannah was leaving on her mission to Ecuador February 7, I needed to get Hannie home.  To her credit, she took care of mostly everything out in Utah, including finding someone to buy her apartment contract.  When I got there, it was all about driving her around so she could take care of last minute things (selling back her books, mailing back a rented book, turning in her work stuff at the library), but really it was about some good old girl time too.  Eating at some of Provo's great eateries and buying cupcakes. Kitty, sampling some of the goods. Ah cupcakes.  Sweet Tooth Fairy bakery has become a tradition every time I visit Utah.  Seriously, they sell the most delicious cupcakes and cookies there.  It made sense to me to buy eight cupcakes for the two of us for a three day drive home.  Little did I know... One of the things that I have done too many times to count now is helping my college-age kids move in and out of their apart...

A Quick Trip to Mackinac Island

 Allow me a pity party for a paragraph.  As much as John is earning buckets of money for us and for our retirement, his weekend calls have been infringing on our time together.  Like I said, it's a complete pity party, because my logical mind reminds me that I should be happy he's making so much money, but my heart feels rather lonely at times as I reminisce about trips we have taken that we don't have time to take again. I love John.  I don't need him around all the time, but I find that the best quality time with him is when he doesn't have other distractions like work, and call, and hospital credentialing. Anyway, I guess that was two paragraphs, and I don't need to take it any further than that, because I don't want the body of this blog post to be about me and my loneliness. I've been wanting to go to Mackinac Island for two years now (I can hardly even believe that it's been that long since I was there).  With Lake Michigan getting colder and t...