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Showing Gratitude

{This post sounds snarly to me, but it discusses a pet peeve of mine.  I don't know any other way to write it!}

Today I received the most surprising thing in the mail:  a "thank you" note for a wedding gift I sent this summer.  This filled me with so much happiness!

Honestly, I could hardly believe it.  We receive numerous announcements for weddings, Eagle Scout ceremonies, and graduations.  I always send something in the mail; I send more to people we know well, and less to those we don't, but I always send something.  Honestly, I'm happy to give.  Our family has been so blessed, and we wouldn't feel right, not sharing what we have been given.

I would guess I receive a "thank you" for one in eight gifts I send.  I spend more than $100 on some of the gifts (wedding gifts especially), and as was the case this summer, I gave both shower and wedding gifts.

Like I said, I have received one thank you note in return.

I don't give gifts to be thanked for them, but I was always taught to express gratitude for anything I was given.  I can remember that I hated writing thank you notes when I was young, especially because I knew they had to be more than just "thank you"; I had to think about the gifts and express why I was actually grateful for them.  I can specifically remember my mother telling me that if my Christmas thank yous weren't written by the time school started up again, no TV for a week.  I got up at 5 a.m. before school to get them off!

I don't think I really came to appreciate how thankful I should have felt, until I became the sender of gifts.  It's a lot of work!  Trying to think of the perfect gift, shopping for it, sending it (which includes wrapping it and packing it up in the box), and paying for all of it.  I could understand why my mother tried to teach me that spending five minutes writing a thank you note was the least I could do in return.

And too, I'm talking about thank you notes that are written on an actual piece of stationery.  While email thank yous are nice, and it's good to know that others have received the gift, it doesn't really say to me "let me spend a few extra moments to show you how much your gift meant".  It says more to me "I know you expect this, and I'm doing what I must do".

I will never forget what my grandmother gave me for a wedding gift:  a box of 500 cards with "Mr. and Mrs. John Kennedy" embossed across the front.  At the time, I just rolled my eyes at the gift, although I used almost every one of them (and kept one for memory's sake which I keep with the rest of my stationery).  She knew what she was doing:  teaching me one last time to be grateful before I went off and lived my adult life.

My children do the same thing to me.  Roll their eyes, or huff at me when I remind them that they have thank you notes to pen.  Christmas is easy--we all sit down at the table together (with the lists of gifts given in hand) and write them, kamikaze style.  On an individual level, I think others can attest that my boys, at least, have learned the lesson.  They are always quick to tell me that they have already written a thank you note to the giver of some goodies while serving their mission.  Good job, boys!

To loosely quote a psalm, "It is good to give thanks".

Thanks, Emily, for remembering to be so good.


Comments

  1. And here I sit, feeling guilty, because I never sent a thank you note for the wonderful birthday present you sent me. I think I know what I'm doing tomorrow. I remember receiving a thank you note from you once and being so impressed by what a great note it was - thoughtful, on nice paper, and more than just a quick thanks, love Larisa. I'll try and do better and follow your example from now on!

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  2. I feel the same way! Im a huge believer in thank you notes. I had my wedding ones done a week after we were married (I hope you got the one I sent because we love our duvet!) and always have the baby ones done before the baby is born when possible! I am always so grateful when people go out of their way to do something nice so Im always anxious to write a little note! And it always bugs me a little when people dont send them in return... my hubby always has to remind me thats not why we gave the gift in the first place!

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  3. My wife is a good example to me as well, I just am not a great thank youer except in person. Thanks Aris for getting me to do the right thing at the right time.

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