The FIRST of the Best Days of My Life

I'm always amazed when people can answer the question, "What was the best day of your life?"  For me, I've never had a specific answer.  The typical response of "my wedding day" doesn't work for me, because in all honesty, our wedding day was pretty sad with no family in attendance.  The second most popular answer of "the day my child was born" only conjures up feelings of pain, misery and exhaustion for me.  Really, up to this point, the best day of my life is anytime my family is together, and we are laughing, and talking, and ... being together.  I guess if I could string all of those moments into one solitary day, that would be the best day of my life.

Everything changed though on Tuesday, October 27, 2015.  In fact, I feel quite relieved now, knowing that I can answer the proverbial question successfully and succinctly, for on that day, Anneliese Margaret Kennedy joined our family, and there has never been a better day in my life.

Poor Rebecca.  When she went to her doctor's appointment in Ann Arbor on Monday (at 40+1 weeks), she was told that they would talk about induction at her next appointment in a week.  I can understand postponing an induction because a woman simply wants to be delivered.  However, our family conveniently "owns" a professional baby deliverer, and by his estimation, this baby was going to be too big to wait another week.  In John's own words, did they not know that Rebecca's husband is 6' 4", was a 9+ pound baby, and that Rebecca's siblings were no small babies either?

Headed to the hospital!

Of course, all along I had been hoping that John would be able to deliver the baby, but as I have learned with adult children, they make their own decisions, and Ethan and Rebecca had decided to have the baby in Michigan.  As some of my friends like to point out, I only had to wait for my evil master plan to come to fruition (and thank the idiot doctors who were going to make Rebecca wait another week!)

Monday afternoon, Ethan and Rebecca let us know that they were coming home that evening, and John was more than happy to put her on the schedule for the next day.  It seemed surreal as they pulled into the driveway that night.  No more waiting.  Baby was coming!

They woke up bright and early the next morning to get to Altoona.  I have no idea what feelings they had.  I don't know if they were anxious, or excited, or worried.  I don't know.  I DO know that I was over-the-top excited.  John, on the other hand, was stressed out of his freaking mind.

In a description of medical specialties, I found this one for an obstetrician/gynecologist:

OB/GYN. Salaries average $210-268,000. You need four additional years of training, the hours are especially long and uncontrollable, the work is stressful and the liability is high. And yet obstetrics is ranked high in job satisfaction.

Yep.  That just about covers it for John's job.  However, I had no idea exactly how stressful John's job is until I spent a day with him and watched him in action.

It's one thing to be juggling the 10-20 balls a day that he keeps in the air, but there's an entirely new level of concern when the patient is your daughter-in-law carrying your first grand baby.  I mean, c'mon, John likes to live on the edge, but this was pushing it.  Literally :-)

Bringing "the goods"

I decided to make it a party, and so I brought lunch for the entire floor.  Chick-fil-A sandwiches, fruit salad, chips and cupcakes.  Plus, balloons.  It's never a party without the balloons.  I know how it works with medical professionals.  Taking care of one of their own is a big deal, and I wanted them to know that we appreciated all that they did.  Plus, I wanted John to look like a super star.  Or at least look like he has a super star family :-)  The nurses were so kind to Ethan and Rebecca.  Too kind sometimes, judging by the fact that everyone stopped in to say "hi".  I was so grateful though for their attention, and they were so grateful for lunch.

I had this vision that Rebecca would walk in, would progress normally and would be delivered within a few hours.  While she was eventually delivered, she didn't progress as quickly as we all would have liked.  In fact, after a while, I couldn't handle the waiting, so I went and took a nap with John in his call room, thinking that when I woke up, it would be time to have the baby.  Nope.

And this is where I got a small glimpse into the life of the OB/Gyn.  Remember those "uncontrollable hours"?  Oh my gosh, I will be groveling at John's feet for the rest of his life, trying to repay him for all those times I chastised him for being stressed out.  Ugh, it makes me sick thinking that I have been so unsympathetic throughout the years.  It is crazy, just sitting around, wondering exactly what is going to happen, hoping that everything will be okay, but always knowing that there is a chance that it won't.

And while we were waiting, he did two surgeries, and delivered another woman.  No big deal.

John and I knelt down to pray.  We wanted everything to be okay for Rebecca and Baby.  Afterwards, we walked back into the room, and John fulfilled Rebecca's one wish.  We had a special shared moment with Salt-n-Pepa:  Push It  (yes, you know you want to click on the link, so DO IT!)  I love that Rebecca didn't lose the humor of the moment amidst the misery!

Finally, around 6:00, Rebecca was complete and it was time to start pushing.  I had tried throughout the day to give her a sense of privacy.  I was so grateful that she had invited me to be in the delivery room when Baby came, but I didn't want to overstep my boundaries.  However, once it's time to start pushing, there isn't anywhere to hide (for either the patient or those watching).

And for a while, Ethan and Rebecca's mom were the main support for Rebecca while I was more just sitting on the side, fanning her poor, flushed face.  I saw in that moment, a daughter-in-law who has decided to sacrifice everything for her family.  She has left behind worldly praise, money, and a career, to give a body to one of Heavenly Father's spirit children.  I know that each one of us in that moment wanted to take the pain away from her.  We wanted to make it easy for her to be delivered.  And yet, through her suffering, we were reminded of something much greater.  Elder Jeffrey R. Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles recently taught us:

Prophesying of the Savior's Atonement, Isaiah wrote, "He hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows."  A majestic latter-day vision emphasized that "Jesus came into the world...to bear the sins of the world."  Both ancient and modern scripture testify that "he redeemed them, and bore them, and carried them all the days of old." 

Bear, borne, carry, deliver.  These are powerful, heartening messianic words.  They convey help and hope for safe movement from where we are to where we need to be--but cannot get without assistance.  These words also connote burden, struggle, and fatigue--words most appropriate in describing the mission of Him who, at unspeakable cost, lifts us up when we have fallen, carries us forward when strength is gone, delivers us safely home when safety seems far beyond our reach. 

But can you hear in this language another arena of human endeavor in which we use words like bear and borne, carry and life, labor and deliver?  As Jesus said to John while in the very act of Atonement, so He says to us all, "Behold thy mother!" 

Today I declare from this pulpit what has been said here before:  that no love in mortality comes closer to approximating the pure love of Jesus Christ than the selfless love a devoted mother has for her child.  "For the mountains shall depart and the hills be removed," Jehovah said, "but my kindness shall not depart from thee."  So too say our mothers.

And at that moment, not only did Rebecca step into the large, responsible shoes of all of the mothers who have come before her, but I was given the opportunity to lace mine up once again.  Rebecca's mom, Linda, had to step away for a minute.  She was recovering from bronchitis, and needed to rest.  As I moved over to the side of Rebecca, ready to help her in anyway I could, I felt the glorious joy of being there for one of my children again.  As draining and as hard as it can be to be a constant, emotional backbone for our children's pain and struggles, there is nothing more fulfilling than feeling needed.

I leaned in close to help her focus on pushing.  I pulled her long hair off her neck.  I fanned her during any break.  All I wanted was to help her through this.

And isn't that how it is for us moms?  We do everything we can to help our children.  To ease their burdens.  To fan them through the hard times.  It was a beautiful moment for me.  Too, it gave me a greater appreciation for my Heavenly Father.  How hard it must be for him to watch all of us struggling and hurting, and yet he knows that the pain is part of the journey, and that we must endure it ourselves.  He's there to support us, but in the end it's up to us.

Finally, John took over, and it was like a dance, watching the nurses and him get ready to bring that choice baby into this world (and as I write this, the tears are welling up in my eyes).  I saw my husband in a whole new light; as the professional that he is.  And all of us were so thankful that he was there then.  We put every ounce of trust into his abilities and his decisions.  Really, I had no doubt in anything that he was doing.  It almost felt like he had been prepared just for this special moment with our family.

I would like to think that there was some divine presence in that room when Baby Annie was born.  I can only imagine that if she was watching the moment before she was born, she would feel such happiness and gratitude, seeing all of us there, helping to help her come to earth.  Her grandfather bringing her tiny body out into the world.  Her mother experiencing so much pain for her birth.  Her grandmothers helping her mother.  And her father, expectantly waiting to see her for the first time.  Too, I would like to think that her younger brothers and sisters were giving her one last round of premortal hugs and kisses before she left on her new adventure.

And with one pull of the forceps, she was out.  All 9 pounds, 2 ounces of her!  Thick, dark hair on her head.  John knew as soon as he pulled her out that she was no shrinking violet :-)  And she screamed. Lots.

And she was covered in cheese!  Another sign that those doctors shouldn't have waited so long!



I took lots of pictures immediately, trying to see which parts of her parents' faces were in hers.  However, John had a lot of work to do, to help Rebecca.  She had torn badly, and he almost considered taking her back to the OR to sew her up.  And once again, seeing the determination on Rebecca's face to not leave the room and to endure the pain of getting sewn up, I couldn't help but think of the sacrifices she was already making as a mother.  There was nothing more beautiful.

And because everyone had been wrapped up in helping that sweet baby be delivered, no one had bothered to hit Rebecca's epidural button for some time.  So throughout the final stages of labor, she had no help from the pain meds, nor afterwards when being sewn up.  And at that stressful and crazy moment, her own mother, Linda, stepped in.  I love this photo of Linda's hands there for Rebecca.

Too, it was amazing to see the beauty of a married couple working together.  Rebecca was in a lot of pain, and their sweet new baby needed some love.  The nurses told Ethan to take off his shirt and give Baby some "skin on skin" time.  He didn't hesitate.  And within seconds, Annie stopped screaming and had a look around :-)

I had to take a picture of John when he was sewing up Rebecca.  I'm not trying to be gross, but knowing him as well as I do, I can see the stress and worry on his face.  I wanted a reminder of what he endures daily so that we can live the comfortable lives we do.  His job isn't easy, and it's never relaxing.  And I'm so thankful that he's willing to do it everyday for us.

I want to cry everytime I see this picture.
Rebecca was so tired and overwhelmed at
the end of it all.

Like I said, I don't think there will be many other days better than this one.  I went in thinking it would be a party with balloons, but in the end, it was sweeter because it was a reminder to me of the goodness of my Savior and the love of my Heavenly Father for all of us.  Giving us loving parents, letting us come down to earth to gain our bodies.  It's all such a perfect plan.

I'm so thankful that everything worked out how it did.  Despite all of my planning capabilities, I couldn't have planned this day any better.  And I'm so thankful that Ethan and Rebecca allowed John and me to be part of it all.

Here's to many more BEST days.  After all, there will definitely be more grandchildren born.  And John is still an OB.  Just saying.... :-)