Respect, Origami and Setting the Bar

Last Sunday, Johannah and I were asked by one of the teachers of the Young Men's organization in our ward to come speak to the young men.  The teacher wanted us to explain how we feel respected as women by men.  In other words, what can "guys" do that show Johannah respect for her, and what have my sons done to show respect for me.

What a wonderful experience for both of us!  We only had about five minutes each, but we had given the topic some thought.  For Johannah, the most important thing for her is that boys treat her like a friend.  She doesn't want to be objectified by boys, and only seen as a possible girlfriend, or a trophy, or for lack of better words, a thing.  She wants boys to talk to her and to care about what is going on her life.

I find that my children have successfully navigated this course through life.  I have always made it a point that we don't exclude people from our group of friends based on gender.  We have birthday parties that include both boys and girls, and there is no division between the two at the parties.  Too, female "drama" is strictly forbidden in our lives.  We don't get involved in he said/she said dramas, and we don't gossip.  In other words, my children have never felt an aversion, or awkwardness with kids of the opposite sex.  In fact, it was quite confusing for teenage girls with Ethan (if I remember correctly).  When he would show an interest in getting to know them, they thought one thing (or, at least the German girls did):  he "liked" them.  Yes, he definitely liked them, but not in the way they thought, or hoped!

This is what Johannah most appreciates in a boy.  Someone who treats her like a friend, and who sees the value in who she is and not what she is.  I was so proud of her, seeing her present this idea to a group of boys in church.

The beautiful thing about the cosmos, and fate (if you will), is that occasionally we figure out something like this in our mind, and then *BAM* we see the thought acted out on the world stage.

Johannah has been fostering a friendship with a boy who lives in Altoona for the past two years.  That's when they met.  At a dance two years ago.  They started talking.  Why did she even notice him?  Because he and his brother acted very much like Ethan and Mark.  They are respectful, righteous, thoughtful boys.

Johannah and Collin only see each other every couple of months when our church congregations get together for activities.  However, they began exchanging their favorite books at those activities.  During the time in between activities, they would read the book that each other had given them, and then bring them back at the next activity and get a new book.  I don't even know all the subjects they have "talked" about over Facebook, although according to Johannah, it's a very long, ongoing conversation.  Too, as soon as either of them walked in the door, they headed straight for each other with lots to talk about, or sometimes nothing to say.  They were just there, and it was all good.

Johannah (like most LDS girls) was not allowed to date until she turned sixteen.  Well, that glorious day was this past Saturday, and guess who asked her out on her first date?

You guessed it.  Her friend, Collin.

You see, Collin and his family are moving to Virginia.  In fact, I think yesterday was their last day in the area.  Collin had one day to take Johannah out, and he did.

They had the most delightful time mini-golfing, eating ice cream and roller-skating.  Yes, Collin showed her the golfing range in Altoona, and Johannah got to bring him back to Penn Skates (her place of employment) at 11 p.m. and show him around the rink.  They were both good with doing whatever that night.  From what I heard, it was non-stop talking between the two of them.

And that my friends is what makes a girl feel happy.  At least, the Kennedy girls.

But wait.  This story gets even better.

Collin had a birthday gift for Johannah.  She took it from him, but didn't open it until the next day.

Collin is fantastic at making anything with origami.  Several months ago, he asked her what her favorite flowers are.  She replied lillies and carnations.

This is how the gift was decorated:

Yes, those flowers are made using origami!  Lillies and carnations.

In the gift was an owl necklace.  When I asked Hannah about it, she said that a year ago, she wore this fantastic pair of owl earrings to an activity, and Collin noticed them.  In fact, he said that every time afterwards that he saw an owl, he thought of her.

And the gift?  The last book in the series of Collin's favorite books.  It's a gift--not a book that she ever needs to return.

Finally, a very personal note to Johannah from Collin.

And that, my friends, is what it's all about.  Noticing the small details of a girl's life, and making her feel like she's important.

What a beautiful lesson for Johannah to learn, and what a blessing that Collin set the bar so high for any future men who want to date my beautiful daughter.  Good luck, boys!